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Thread: Your funniest fishing story

  1. #1

    Your funniest fishing story

    Hi all,

    I'm pretty new here. It's a good forum. I enjoyed the post,"what have you lost when fishing". This made me think there must be some very funny fishing stories here.

    I'll share mine, and would love to have a gag at a few more.

    I was about 20 years old at the time....too many years ago. I went camping at a place called Thornton on the Goulburn River north of Melbourne. This story is not so much funny, but heaps embarassing.

    So I was camped with my girlfriend at the time. Being 20, I was a dead keen fisho, had bagged a heap of trout already, usually at a place called Narbethong and was kind of new to the sport of shagging a regular girlfriend.

    So we headed out during the day with trout rods in hand and a few worms. Well Thornton was not my regular place, and the fishing was dead. My girlfriend was more bored than me, go figure. Anyway she starts getting amorous. Can I say that on this site? Too late I just did. I shall try to keep this clean...

    So the trout aren't biting but my GF is. I look around. We are very isolated. We are parked under some willow trees along the bank in a quiet spot where there is only parking for my car. Being a gentleman I comply with my GF's wishes and start to get, um, amourous. Anyway I was 20 years old so it didn't take too much motivation. Soon enough we were both in our birthday suits.

    Now think of the most embarassing situation in which you could be caught being amourous. Well I was in that position. No the other one.

    Luckily you could hear any traffic coming, so we thought we'd have some warning anyway. All we had during our moment of passion, was the gentle sound of the Goulburn River floating by, oh and the two canoeists who floated by as well...

  2. #2

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    lol....
    I couldn't paddle straight for an hour!
    :-)

  3. #3

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    I remember fishing on Somerset Dam with two of my uncles and good old uncle Jim thought he would show off is fishing proess and show me how accurately he could cast. He picked out a nice fallen tree and said that there was a Yellow Belly with his name on it sitting under the snag. First cast missed the mark and he retrieved and had another cast, and another, and another and with each attempt the embarrassing frustration was starting to show because he was meant to be an experienced mentor for his nephew. His nephew with little experience (me) decides to get his el cheapo rod and bait up and without even trying did one cast to his tree which was with lethal accuracy and went "Plop, sink, BANG... ZZZZZZZ" and in comes the Yellow Belly my uncle was meant to catch and it was the only fish for the day. If looks could kill.

    Poodroo


    He who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.


  4. #4

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    Most embarrasing/funny fishing moment when I was a kid.
    I was invited by a mate to fish with his club one weekend, as it was a bit of a recruitment drive.
    There was a prize for biggest fish, and with about 10 mins to go I had nothing!
    At all.
    Then bang.... good bite!
    A few minutes later, a catfish!
    I reckon about 2-3 kgs!
    All of a sudden I was in with a chance for biggest fish!
    I had 10 mins or so to get it measured / weighed.
    I was grinning ear to ear, I was in with a good chance from what I'd seen others catch..
    Anyway, walked up to the guy doing the measurements and weighing and proceeded to pull the fish from the bucket gently..
    Too gently..
    He gave a good kick, hit the floor, gave another good kick, and sailed off the jetty into the water.
    I don't know what annoyed me more.. The laughter, or the fact I'm sure that fish gave me the bird on the way down.
    :-)

    Then there was the time I parked a jackaroo (complete with trailer and tinny!) on my foot.

  5. #5
    hussy
    Guest

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    my best story i was trolling the river at buxton, nothing much happening,rod in one hand tiller in other. no wind, nice day,over the other side of river two boats, with large number people of aboriginal appearance, looking at this bloke trollin along without a care in the world, getting a little bit sleepy,what with the slow pace ,and perfect weather. nodd off ,still at the tiller, heading for these two boats. woke up crashing into the mangroves. have gone straight between the two boats. who by now are pissing themselves laughing at this dumb arse whitie crash. i could still hear them two miles away. and every time we met at the boat ramp for the next three days that i was there. hubby

  6. #6

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    Ha Ha,

    that's a beauty Hubby. Not sure if I like calling someone hubby, but I'll just go along with it, as I'm probably not the first.

    That reminds me of one more.

    When I was about 16 my mate and I went to a place called Yarra Junction near Melbourne. His Dad drove us there, and we were hoping for a smooth journey so that Mr VB would not clink too much in our bags on the journey.

    Upon entering the caravan park there was a big sign. "No alcohol" Jehovas Witness run van park. It was winter and freezing cold so we got a van. Luxury! My mates Dad drove straight home so we were there alone.

    We soon found the blackfish were biting after dark. We caught a few and then reset the lines. It was DAMNED freezing so we agreed to go back to the van, have a few beers and fags, thats cigarettes ok, sit in front of the heater and come and collect our fish after we'd warmed up.

    A few beers later I woke up with a fright. My much loved Ugg boots were on fire...

  7. #7

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    brother inlaw sat his wet boots on the rocks that surrounded the fire (coals at the time) just before we went to bed, got up the next morning and all that was left was the eyelets. LMAO cause it look so funny, all these eyelets neatly layed out on the rocks. It was also the first night of a 3 day trip, he spent the rest of the trip in waders.
    cheers
    blaze

  8. #8

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    Had a classic back in the early 70s. Two mates and I were camped at Hardys Creek off the Mary River .All full of Veges and Beef(VB) one mate reckoned he wasnt gunna sleep on the ground cause of the crocs and proceeded to set his swag up on the roof of my swb cruiser.
    dont know what really happened but he must have rolled over during the night straight off the roof and landed with the bottom bit of his swag in the fire . consequently the swag smouldered with him still in it in a drunken sleep and it wasnt till dawn when nature called and we awoke to find Col in this hairy situation totally oblivious to his predicament.
    Luckily the only damage done was to his swag.
    cheers Terry
    Cheers Tezza

  9. #9
    staddie_local
    Guest

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    mine would have to be as a young tacker,

    i was fishing with a mate of mine a young aboriginal fella called TAMA, we were fishing out of mangrove trees. we fished for about an hour as the tide rose it was soon 4ft deep and the closest shore was 100ft away so we where fishing away catching small bream and whiting, until the local bronze whaler came to investigate the comotion. OMG, i was terrorfied this shark wasent huge but very very intimidating.

    it circled us for a while, and TAMA wanted to spear this thing hell no, well i had no choice this shark was getting creepy and tama really wanted to spear thins thing he speared it, it went nuts and bend his spear and split it. i was only 8 so thing frighted the hell out of me with all the comotion going on samller dog sharks came and this was it we needed to leave. we both screamed for help at the top of our lungs, and luckly som1 herd us and 2 of the local blockes came out and piggy backed us in i wasent getting in that water.
    les

  10. #10
    gropeher
    Guest

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    There seems to be one thing in common here, VB,

    Not only does it make you do embarrising things, it also gives you a shocking head the next day..

    Cheers Ryan.

  11. #11

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    I spent a few nights on a houseboat with my wife up sandy straits. Took the tinny out to pump some yabbies. Hit the sand bank and put one leg out only to find it was mud bank. Up to my thigh in mud, other leg in the boat. Couldn't push off my foot in the mud to get back in the tinny. Didn't want to get out into the mud. Spent a while figuring out what was the best idea. Look back at the houseboat to see my wife has caught a whiting and wanting me to get it off. Finally balanced my weight on the edge of the boat to suck my leg out of the mud.

    Ended up finding some yabbies, but the tide had left me stranded and I had to drag the tinny back across the mud flats. The shower when I got back was one of the nicest I've had.

  12. #12

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    Had some crackers. The main one i remember was getting up in pouring rain at 3 in the morning at Mooloolaba. Myself, Fritzy and Franger. One of us toughed it out with the dragnet at night... sure as hell wasnt me. And we then positioned ourselves under a bridge out of the rain. And it was FREEZING!!!!! We were all soaked and ended up with all three of us wrapped up in a tarp to keep out of the cold. Never knew a tarp could keep u warm.... and i dont think it was... was jsut wamrer than outside of the thing. Eventually the sun came up and we hadnt had a bite, so started flicking lures up a mangrove creek. After about 2 hours without a hit all morning, Fritzy goes "Guys i have to sh!t". So since we werent getting anything i kindly suggested we go back to the wharf, to which he replies "Nah not gonna make it." WE quickly pulled into the mangrroves and myself and Franger will never forget the image of him hanging from the mangroves into the water hanging an aqua t..d. It was absolutely hilarious. boat ended up drifting down the river coz i couldnt hold on coz i was laughing so hard. Anyhow finally got back to fishing and 2 hours later what do you know there is grass poking out the back of Fritzy's pants, not quite a toilet paper equivalent. He'll probably kill me for telling you this but oh well. Didnt get a single hit all morning either.
    Cheers guys
    Jackash

  13. #13

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    Great stories!

    Well my history is riddled with absurd moments but the one that really leaps to mind was an incident involving stoned giants.

    I was 10 years old and fishing the banks of a river when I heard the voices of three homeless black (African Americans if you prefer) folks approaching my location from behind. They were loud and using all sorts of interesting words towards eachother and everyone else they happened by. I was alone (my family members were all spread out along the river to fish different spots) and was pretty worried as by their acrid, smoky aroma, I figured they were higher than hell. I was right. I turned around and saw them smoking pot about 30 feet behind me on the bank above me. There were two guys and a woman. One guy was about 20 feet tall and weighed about 1000 pounds, the other was only eight feet tall and weighed say 500 or so. The lady was regular sized. Well, being under the influence to an almost unbelievable degree, they had trouble keeping upright. It came upon the larger of the giants to descend the very steep bank and go look at the pretty water. He takes one woozy step down the bank and proceeds to fall a$$ over head down the bank and lands square on MY paper shopping bag full of gear. He lets out a roar and the other two start laughing their butts off at him making him angry. He starts cussing up a storm at them and they respond in kind. Meanwhile, I'm shaking with fear. He gets up and starts to storm away.
    .
    .
    .
    Then it happens!
    .
    .
    .
    The other guy lets out an, "OHHHH SHHHHIIIIIII...!!!"
    The lady screams a blood curdling screach.
    I nearly wet myself.

    You see, in that shopping bag was a plastic container full of chicken livers (I use them as catfish bait). When humungo fell, he smashed open the container and his back was covered in them. His friends thought his guts were falling out! They took off running leaving him to "die" alone. Well not alone--I was there (shaking like a leaf, wide eyed and unable to speak). He starts screaming and running around. "My guts is fallin' out! Halp me! I'm gunna die!"

    I try to save myself by calming to the beheamoth. "Er..ex.ex.ex.c.c.c cuse me ss.s.s.s.sir but those ar.r.r.ren't y.y.yyour guts."

    "They is my guts fool! Is's all bloody and shi.."

    "No, it's just some chicken livers. They were in the bag you fell on."

    "What the hell's chicken livers?! What bag?!"

    "The one stuck to your back." He then figures it out (as much as his "altered" mind would allow).

    "You saved my life! I was scared! I thought my guts was comin' out but it was juss chicken guts! They wasn't mine!"

    "Yes."

    "Where my frens? Them MFrs left didn't they?"

    "Yes."

    Then he left and I da** near fainted.

    When my Dad and brothers got back, I threw rocks at them and said that if they ever left me alone again, I'd skin them.

    As much as I wish it weren't, it's a true story.
    "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.-- Mark Twain"


  14. #14

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    El_carpo that's so funny I nearly had to hold you accountable for laughing my guts out.

    Poodroo


    He who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.


  15. #15

    Re: Your funniest fishing story

    [smiley=dankk2.gif] Glad you got a chuckle Poodroo. Looking back on it now, I laugh pretty good too. At the time though, I was flat out terrified. [smiley=wreck.gif]
    "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.-- Mark Twain"


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