Well i had the displeasure of fishing off a known members boat yesterday and thought i would start a thread for all the unhappy customers out there...
Here's my story
plans were made for a 5am start at his place, i show up on time skipper no where to be seen he finally emerges some 15 min later (after second deckie arrives) "ready to go" he asks, "yeah sure", now never fishing off his boat before i wasn't sure if he traveled with rods in boat or in car so i ask "yeah mate just chuck them in the boat, as i proceed to set up boat with other deckie (lets call him cobiaman) the skipper decides there is not enough oil in his hubs so he proceeds to fill hubs with oil, now im no mechanic and ive seen some dodgy practices but what i saw yesterday i cant even explain, anyway "how far to the ramp mate?" about a k, sweet nothing too bad can happen in a k and its not a far walk, off we go finally, get to ramp and try to help unhitch boat , the ungrateful knob gets all frantic "don't touch the boat, you don't know what your doing" yeah righto mate thinking i should turn around now as were aren't even on the water, we finally get going skipper in seat cobiaman next to him and i ask "happy for me to sit anywhere" as there are plenty of seats, "nah stand there" this is going to suck as its a couple of hours drive to our destination a fair bit of bouncing and holding the throttle flat (kid thinks he owns a cat im sure) we make it to the bar "now whos crossed the bar?" he asks " i haven't done it in years" this bloke is surely having a go at me but he wasn't a slow trip through and we make it with our dignity, i try to be nice and make small talk whats the weather meant to be like " knowing full well as i checked it but all i got was a grunt and not sure, well i will be a butchers daughter if it didn't blow its tits off all the way to the shelf, we finally get there and yep this is the spot tie THE RIG onto the rod (only using one) dammit we traveled 600mts in 5 min, the question by the skipper "anyone good at maths, how far past the mark do we have to go so it lands on mark?" well i thought asians were good a maths but i was wrong and i mention no drop rate means who knows?
righto its agreed 1k past should do it, we drop line and lands bang on except we are 1k east of mark, just pull it up and we will have another crack, you just don't pull up 4kg of rig from 280mts using and alvey. Rig pulled tie on more reo and lets get it right, drop lines bang on mark finally this skipper has done something right. His words gentlemen "this is bang on we are a go for a definite hook up" no hook up...
head back in stop at a few of his secret spot and come back through the bar empty handed, stop at 4 beacons for lunch, i pull out my lunch which and apparently i was the only one that brought anything, which was fine had i known i was supplying lunch for everyone, so pull out a whole chicken, cheese and bacon rolls lettuce and cheese to make your own and this bloke whinges about no butter there was aioli, really on a boat no butter how precious can 1 man be. i make a good chilli that goes well with just about anything i hand some to said skipper and he whinges about some crap ive given up listening by this time, I had even chucked a spare jar in esky for him, that he took.
pull out the lemon meringue pie the mrs baked the night before for us and it was, I've had better i can make better etc ungrateful prick. so don't have any but he also takes the left overs of that back at home. we make it back to ramp and i'm sure if we didn't have gps we would still be lost out there as he probably couldn't tell east from west from the sun, i start to remove rubbish etc tidy up boat, in the car and away we go, get back to his place and boat parked up, i try to grab the hose and clean it down etc, "nah leave it i will do it tomorrow, you wouldn't know how to do it right anyway" OCD or what, he then ask me to take him around the corner as his car has boat on it for an hour, yeah no probs we load into the car and end up at some old dudes house with a bunch of other old dudes i swear these people should be in a home or wheel chair or something
(madmackrel, lucky phill, tropicrows, netmaker, horse, humdigger) the list goes on.
back to his place and cobiaman offers him some money and he looks at it with disgust like it wasn't enough and chucks it back at him, ($150) do i offer or what? i did just feed everyone? so i decide nah not offering this knob after what he did to poor cobiaman. i leave with a glad that is over..
will put up fishing report soon .
OH yeah i suffer from seasickness i did get sick once only and he didn't have the decency to stop the boat instead i spewed out the side at 50k/hr thus getting hit in the face by a rouge wave, only time i got sick the whole trip. didn't dare try that again.
Very funny. I don't know why but I am still laughing at this part.Originally Posted by lucee81
A Proud Member of
"The Rebel Alliance"
You buggers get lemon meringue pie?!
I've been suffering through all my boat trips meringue-less. Must have a word to the missus about this...
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
okay the lunch menu consisted of
Shapes with homemade chilli
also had kabana cheeses olives and pickles with water crackers and chilli good little platter (didn't get touched)
chicken lettuce and cheese (and not the crappy plastic cheese either) with aioli on cheese and bacon buns
lemon meringue pie for dessert. Family size, home made (mrs is half american, her family comes from the south so i get all the southern american pies like pecan, peanut butter, chocolate bar pie, the list goes on. always some tasty treat when doing a long day.
Skippers was somewhat not happy with this as it wasn't up to his usual standard that i found out later consisted of cold pizza...
i think hes just always sour....
He must be a very experienced and thoughtful skipper......
You should be ever grateful that he helped you wash the taste of puke out of your mouth so you didn't have to suffer with it.
Skippers who care about their crews well being like that are rare.....
S***fish & chippy
Not only that, he rigged the reel up wrong and then ridiculed us for taking so long to wind up 450m of line!
Wouldn't assist until he thought a had a fish then held onto rod for a photo and handed it straight back. Without the slightest wind of the reel.
U Cunny Funts
VHF CHANNEL 21
CALL SIGN : JT OR SC552(social club member)
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
Up here we Use Hussar as baits for real RED FISHS (SHSIIFDER)
1/2 way to NZ is not the place for a demarcation dispute, was a wise skipper to not touch the reel, not being in his job description
Rigging rods, reels (and all other associated equipment) is in the deckies work portfolio, not the skipper of the vessel.
Skippers job is to sit comfortably, critique crew and attend PR photo shoots......sounds to me like he everything right
S***fish & chippy
ImageUploadedByTapatalk1381095791.545165.jpg yep, that was it......
Not to mention him making you sprawl across the back seat because it was still full of eskys and crap from the 1770 trip......
And then there was this conversation
"should i bring this toilet paper on the boat?"
"Nah, heaps on board"
10 minutes later
"Wheres the toilet paper?"
"Hahaha, still in the car....."
So: Finally I can see who is who.... The pink shirted lair is the skipper with soiled toes.
The purple shirted chap is the master Alvey rigger and mr invisible behind the camera is the CobiaKing.
Got it.
You blokes look like your having too much fun.
(Using Tapatalk on iPhone so can't easily 'thank' or 'like')
Hang on, is that one of the old 9 inch Alveys? When you said Alvey I thought at least you had a deck winch!
A Proud Member of
"The Rebel Alliance"
gold lucas, gold.
fishing's as simple as 3 P's - patience, perserverance and PLASTIC!
Wash your mouth out. That alvey was brand new. We didn't bitch out with deck winches. It was mans trip. And not once did a deckie whinge about not having electric reels. There was a lot of whinging by said "skipper" about everything.
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