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  1. #31

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    my old boss was a bit of a tool

    me " he's a tool i wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire "

    boss walks over : my mate says " (pointing to me ) he just said he wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire , but i stuck up for you and said id piss all over you "

    boss " gives funny look not knowing what to say "

  2. #32

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    In reply to someone who says a word you dont know the meaning of. ' I had one of them but the wheels fell off' . Ben

  3. #33
    Ausfish Addict Chimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Gold Coast

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    "which I read after I build my box" Steve Quote from Steve after building his fridge ............. on behalf of all us boys
    What could go wrong.......................

  4. #34

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    When start in the railways was many many years ago now
    Told don't ASSUME anything if unsure ask if don't because going to make an
    ass out of you & me (ASS/U/ME )

    In life, start off wrong and you'll finish wrong. Put just one skeleton in the closet and you'll have to put another one in to hide the first, and so it goes.
    But start off right and you'll finish right. There's no comeback when you stick to the truth - and no skeletons!

  5. #35

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    Flicking for Barra with the cousen,nothen happening"F@#K this" i say to which he replies," Piss n perserverance and you can wear down a Mtn"......still didnt catch anything!
    Cheers Chris.
    Ps. One other great one,for all the people promised something by someone!! "Promised the world and give ya an atlas" Love it.

  6. #36

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    Ma inlaw Lived in Stanthorpe on a farm, along with husband and 4 kids in the late 50's and on the odd occasion they would head off to a neighbouring farm to say g'day. Well this farmer had a 4 gal kero drum permanently on the hot coals and every day or 2 would throw in a bit of rabbit, beef, lamb a few vegy's , basically anything. When it was time for a feed he would hand you a tin plate, ladel and say "if yas dips shalla ye gets soup, dips deep, ya gets stew.

  7. #37

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    " i dont understand why scuba divers fall out of the boat backwards"
    " If they fell forward they would still be in the boat"

  8. #38

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    I asked Dad where was he going one day,he replied ,"Going to see a man about a dog !"

  9. #39

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    hahaha giffo just finished reading every post and thought to my self no one has said the ol going to see a man about a dog. . thats a classic the ol man used to say it often. or " i'm so hungry i could eat the bum out of a low flying duck"

  10. #40

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    ya can't get there from here

    no matter where you go, there ya are

    where's bill?
    he went to shit and the hogs ate him

    grandpa, can you get me some ice cream?
    i'll shit ya a pile

    she has a butterface. everythings looks good butterface

    come on, damn ya! grandma was slow, but she was old!

    my cousin's daughter was picking on him for shooting a rather small deer. in his defense he stated well, at least he didn't suffer.
    she replied well, he wasn't suffering before you shot him, either.
    that shut him up.
    standing on a bridge
    watching water rushing under-
    neath it must have been much harder
    when there was no bridge just water

  11. #41
    That thread about the a hole suing the VMR that retrieved his drifting boat.....

    He's lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut.

  12. #42

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    Quote Originally Posted by odes20 View Post
    "Flat as a Shit Carters hat
    Full as a fat lady's sock
    Full as a goog (as in egg)
    Busy as a lizard drinking (for the lazy)
    Busy as a one armed juggler (That's one of Lucky Phill's)
    If brains were dynamite you wouldn't be able to blow your nose
    Sticks out like a shag on a rock/third nut on a dog
    As straight as a dog's hind leg
    (a favorite of my nana) I'll knock you into next week
    Not within cooee of a bull's roar
    Feeding the chooks (which is close in meaning to going to meet Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters)
    Digging for gold or picking a winner (picking your nose)
    Playing up like a secondhand motorbike
    about as useful as a fart in a cyclone
    Liquid laugh (who had one of those in the last 2 weeks?)
    Road pizza (squashed animals on the road)
    Tighter then a bream's bum
    I'm so hungry I could eat a horse......and have a crack at the rider.
    Maggot bag.
    Happy as a pig in sh!t
    Happy as a dog with 2 d!cks
    Dry as a dead dingo's donger
    He's not quite the full quid
    Get off your high horse
    And my personal tosser and Happy as Larry.
    I intend on living far so good

  13. #43

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    couple that hold there age.
    she was that ugly the tide wouldnt take her out
    when they were handing out noses he thought they said roses and asked for a big red one\
    he is a yabbie ,body full of meat and a head full of shite
    she is a prawn ,you would eat the body but throw away the head
    and one that is hard to fathom is as handy as a c@#$ full of cold water

  14. #44

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    Head on it like a dropped pie
    So happy I could sh@t in my hands and clap

  15. #45

    Re: Best lines you've heard.

    Useless as a hat full of busted arseholes.
    Useless as a hip pocket in a singlet.

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