Hey Yellowbeard, at those functions you'd be able to:
* point pilly (instead of Percy) at the porcelain
* shake hands with the limp pilchard, instead of the unemployed (or the wife's best friend)
* go syphen the pilchard, instead of the python
* drain the main pilchard, intead of the main vein.
..and you could play 'hide the pilchard' instead of hide the sausage!?
I'm not sure what you'd get out of joining that society apart from a extra stress wrinkles from worrying how & when to wop out the pilchard!
Maybe you could hang one round your neck (or your belt buckle) & wear a cloak then sneak up on a fellow LPS member and flash him. Then if he doesn't show you his own limp pilchard in return at least you'd get a beer out of it.
I might need to investigate that LPS one of these days. Sounds like it might have some potential - for what though, I'm still figuring it out.