Monduran Winter Trip Continued – Part 2
Saturday Night – Good Laughs With Friends
Camp Cooking: More rib fillet with some rump on the side….all was exceptional and went down well. Straight on to bread with some Artery Hardening Salt it tasted fantastic. I offered my mates a steak sambo or 2 as I could see them eying of a tender morsel as it cooked away on the fire.. There were no kookaburras at night thankfully, but we did keep an eye out for the odd drop bear or 2. The billy was boiled even if nobody wanted high tea…It’s the principal that counts. If someone came over to our fireplace for a yarn we could offer them a cuppa etc.
Fireplace Yarns: Chat was flowing like the rain off our swags…..We had some great yarns & a few locals even called in for a yarn. We got on to naming bays with many creative thinkers coming up with a few names that we can’t put to print…
Here are the legal ones:
Secret squirrel bay: I can’t tell you where that one is for obvious reasons. Everyone has 1 or 2 of these. I bet Steve B has a couple???
No Fish Bay: Happy to tell you where that one is, just follow me!!! I think we have all fished there at times.
Catfish Bay: I think we have all fished there at one point in time as well!!!
Arthritis Bay: Is where all the old timers hang out as it’s not far from the boat ramp so 6-10 horse power motors don’t have to go far.
Grey Nomad Bay: Is placed nicely next to Arthritis Bay so they don’t have to travel far.
Lemmings Bay: Where everyone follows everyone in circles without knowing why. In peak season it’s also known as the main basin.
Monduran Metre Barra Bay: Aaaaahhhh the legendary Metre Barra Bay is where everyone wants to fish. Johnny & The Taylors Fished there on this trip. I managed to find Future Metre Barra Bay.
Home-owners-bay: Not sure what Scotty meant with this bay.
Mad Cow Bay: When you see cattle on the edge its mad cow bay.
Wally Bay: Where only idiots fish. This is said in a kind way around the fire. E.g when someone asks if we caught fish you say " no the guy driving the boat took us to Wally Bay for the day' etc.
Slim Cow Bay: Where food is scarce & the place looks like nothing could live.
Lay Bay: Again I’m not sure what the boys meant by this one.
Cappa Bay: Again I’m not sure what the boys meant by this one but I heard it’s right next to borat bay! I’m guessing they must have seen someone fishing in budgie smugglers or something like that. Although they would have to be pretty crazy to do that in winter. They could have been Victorians!!!
Drop Bear Bay: Is where you tell the touro’s new to Australia not to go. This has also been known to work on people that haven’t got out of the city much for a spot of camping & fishing. If you are sitting around a campfire tell the story late at night after a few ales – it has a much better effect. Let them know that you have seen someone attacked by one of these ferocious drop bears and they will rip your guts out & bite you in to pieces and throw your head that way and legs the other way HBA. I’m still amazed at how many people this yarn gets… I’ve seen touro’s that wont’ walk back to their tents in the dark of night after this story has been told. I remember when we had to start the cars and put the spotlights on one night so they would go back to their own tents because we needed some sleep.
There will be more bays added in future reports so stay tuned.
On that note I remember a shooting trip when we took a couple of city slickers shooting foxes, feral dogs, cats & red deer. In their defence they weren’t that old and we were known to do a few pranks, which is the Aussie Way Of Life.
Anyway a few mates (Guy & Lee), my brother (Justin) and I got on a roll this night telling stories like razor back the wild pig which was as big as 2 washing machines & would turn you in to mince meat real quick if you dared to step outside the car. After this story the guys wouldn’t get out of the car to take a leak & I have to say it was a long nights shooting. They ended up chucking a leak with the back doors open with their mate standing guard with rifle in hand and they insisted in us keeping a look out for pigs with our spotlights.
Trying not to laugh was now getting even harder….
I must say the boys did come prepared as they had more ammo than Schwarzenegger in Commando…Remember the M60! With his cannons hanging on to it? One handed of course….
After that came the drop bear story which had an immediate effect on the guys as their guns were pointed out the old land drover’s window’s aiming up at every tree looking for the slightest movement to shoot at. I was thinking that this wouldn’t be the time for a rare bird species to get on the wing!!!! Of course we had to make it interesting by pretending to shoot at these monsters if we saw them relaxing. We had them firing bird shot into trees to try and knock the drop bears out. By now these guys were pretty scared the poor buggers. They now had reloading in the dark mastered quicker than a Ferrari pit crew changes tyres.
To top it all off late in the night we couldn’t resist just one more G-Up. By this stage it was hard for us not to be nearly crying with laughter but we held it together – just. We told the by now sh#$t scared boys about the panthers that lived in the area after they were released back in the days of world war 2 when they were used as mascots by the armed forces. We even got out of the car to look for tracks and pretended to track them along the road. Well this sent the boys in to overdrive with their eyes almost popping out of their heads. They were checking their ammo stocks, making sure it was close by when needed. It was a scene that reminded me of Tackle Berry from Police Academy at his Rambo best. Classic. I bet we all have a mate like Tackle Berry???
It must have been fate but just after this G-Up a couple of wild dogs ran across the road heading for the bush.
Well the boys had that much pent up nervous energy by this time the dogs were the last straw. Somebody yelled out “Panther” and all hell broke loose as the night sky lit up like side show alley at the Ekka, with shotguns, 243’s, 7.62s, 410’s and the good old lever action 22magnum all emptying their barrels & mags in to the pitch black surroundings. It was mayhem and we all broke out in fits of laughter so hard that my stomach hurt. We emptied so much ammo shooting at something we couldn’t see that BHP could have started mining the area. It was like the scene in Predator where Arnie and co emptied a few thousand rounds in to the forest and hit nothing.
Funnily enough these guys never again asked to go shooting or camping with us.
We didn’t even get to use the Kilcoy Yowie story as we had planned to hide behind a bush and jump on the back of the s#$%t scared boys. However hey had firm grips on their rifles so we thought we’d better not do this gag on this trip as we were s#$t scared of how they would react.
Steve B you would have heard this one a few times… Are they still cutting off certain parts of the Yowie monument in that part of the world??? They breed em tough out that way. Do you still get free entry in to Friday night fights with the purchase of your first beer!!! Some of the toughest footy players I’ve seen are from that area and are good blokes to boot.
Ahhh you have to love Aussie camping and fishing trips. Hijinks and a dry sense of humour go hand in hand. Feel free to add your funny story if anything I wrote jogs your memory. Cheers Lyndon.