Two old folks got married. As they were lying in their wedding suite, staring at the ceiling, the old man says, "I haven't been comlpetely honest with you. I think the world of you, but you are only number two to me." golf is my first love. It's my hobby, my passion, my first love.
They both stare at the ceiling for a bit then the woman says, "While we're baring our souls, I'd guess I better tell you that I've been a hooker all my life".
The man jumps out of bed, looks at her a moment then says, "Have you tried widening your stance and adjusting your grip?"