Page 315 of 315 FirstFirst ... 215265305306307308309310311312313314315
Results 4,711 to 4,717 of 4717
  1. #4711

    Re: Joke of the Day

    "Hillbilly Dayvorce"HEA

    A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said,

    "How can I help you?"

    The farmer said, "I want to get one of those dayvorces."

    The lawyer said, "Do you have any grounds?"

    The farmer said, "Yes, I got 40 acres."

    The lawyer said, "No, you don't understand. Do you have a suit?"

    The farmer said, "Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays."

    The lawyer said, "No, no, I mean, do you have a case?"

    The farmer said, "No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere."

    The lawyer said, "No, I mean, do you have a grudge?"

    The farmer said, "Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere."

    The lawyer said, "Does your wife beat you up or something?"

    The farmer said, "No, we both gets up at 4:30."

    The lawyer said, "Is your wife a nagger?"

    The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce."



  2. #4712

    Re: Joke of the Day - Please keep them G Rated

    An old bloke had owned a large mango farm for several years. The farm, just outside of Broome, had a large natural rock pool with natural fresh water seeping in to it not far from his farm house. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up with a nice grassed area, gas BBQ, shade cloth, picnic tables and bench seats, basketball hoop and some orange and lime trees.

    One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pool, as he hadn't been there for a while, to look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pool, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

    As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pool.

    He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

    The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or to make you get out of the pool naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."

    Some old blokes can still think fast....

  3. #4713

    Re: Joke of the Day - Please keep them G Rated

    The fishing has been quiet of late, so wanting to do something nice for the wife I took her to dinner. As we walked into the restaurant, I noted it was full. Not a vacant table to be seen.
    I took out my mobile, stood a little away from my wife, while speaking a little loudly into the phone, "Your suspicions are right madam, your man is here with another woman. You had best come over and have a chat with her"
    Eight couples left the restaurant very quickly.

  4. #4714

    Re: Joke of the Day - Please keep them G Rated

    What did the traffic light say to the car?

    Don't look, I am about to change.

  5. #4715

  6. #4716

    Re: Joke of the Day - Please keep them G Rated

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #4717

    Re: Joke of the Day - Please keep them G Rated

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Join us