A cowboy appeared before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" Saint. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "Once I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the biggest, toughest, and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, Now, back off or I'll kick the crap out of all of you!"
Saint Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"
"Couple of minutes ago."