Just for a laugh

[Fisherman02]

hi guys
earlier this month jaybee put up a post in the test board section called just for a laugh so i've decided to put it up on here, mind you any credit goes to jaybee.
This is word for word what jaybee said:

Hey maybe the board can start a joke section eh...
An Australian, Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar; a man. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when, suddenly, the Irishman cried out, "My God! I know who that man is. It's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table. The Irishman calls out across the lounge, "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus?" The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus, he says. Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him, "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table. Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles thanks and drinks. The Englishman then calls out, "Er, excuse me Sir, but would you be Jesus?" Jesus smiles and says, "Yes, I am Jesus". The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of
Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As
before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table. Then the Australian calls out, "Oy you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or what?" Jesus nods and says, "Yes, I am Jesus". The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a schooner of VB for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure. Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it,
thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the
Irishman gives a cry of amazement, "Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for years is gone! It's a miracle!" Jesus then shakes the Englishman's hand, thanking him for the Newcastle. Upon letting go, the Englishman's eyes widen in shock, "By jove, the migraine! The migraine I've had for 40 years is completely gone! It's a miracle!!!" Jesus then goes to approach the Australian who has a terrified look on his face. "Back off mate! - I'm on compo!!"

cheers jack

[jaybee]

http://www.ausfish.com.au/chat/images/smilies/cwm35.gif hey dont blame me for this jack..LOL :P

[jaybee]

Couldnt resist..heres another one just for you jack..TRUE Story
Earlier this year, the dazed crew of a Japanese fishing trawler were recovered, clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship, in the Sea of Japan.

Authorities however, had so much trouble beleiving the crew's story of how their ship sunk, that they were immediately imprisoned. The crew claimed that a cow, "falling out of the clear blue sky" had struck their trawler amidships, shattering its hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.

They remained in prison for several weeks while the authorities began trying to investigate their story (where do you start investigating a meteoric cow). Finally, the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow (for food) that had been wandering at the edge of a Siberian air field. They simply herded the cow into the plane's hold and hastily departed for home, dreaming of steak and hamburgers. Unfortunately the plane was unprepared for live cargo and the cow became somewhat disturbed. The crew found they couldn't manage a rampaging cow. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet. Below were an innocent crew of a Japanese fishing trawler with no idea of what was about to descend on them.
;D

[Fisherman02]

hey thanks jaybee ;D
did they think about their families :'(
cheers jack

[jaybee]

;D hey jack were you up to go fishing at this time of morning, i did my post just after coming home..shouldnt have gone..against the docs orders but i caught 3 just legal bream an threw them back and a 27cm..i am about to smoke him for an afternoon snack..early tea... yummo..

[Fisherman02]

hehehe
catch ya later
lol get it catch-ya-later
http://www.ausfish.com.au/chat/images/smilies/cwm32.gif

[mick]

not bad!! i think you should put a new room in tittled "just for a laugh"

[Ratsack]

This is supposed to be a true story also
While fighting fires in Canada the fire fighters were supprised to come across a fully dressed frogman (dead) in the burned country but he hadnt died of burns. Investigations revealed that while he was minding his own business looking at the underwater sights he was picked up in the tank of a firefighting plane that skimmed accross the water with a scoop like attachment to fill their tanks, there were also indications that he was alive inside the tank but when they opened the doors things turned to @#$%# big time.
Wrong place at the wrong time :-/

[Fisherman02]

ooooooo thats bad real bad :-[
did the family sue the firefighters >:(
cheers jack :D

[jaybee]

Why is Fishing Better then Making Love

When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good.
If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to
still be friends after you let it go.

* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid.
If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing

[Fisherman02]

hahahahahahah :D
nice on jaybee!!
cheers jack

[angelena]

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man
> > departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his
> > wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to
> Minneapolis.
> >
> > They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time
> > together.
> > Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate,
> > and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He
> tried
> > to
> > appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible
> for
> > the
> > problem and it would do no good to complain.
> >
> > Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami
> > Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as
> > uncomfortably hot
> > as Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his
> wife
> > would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area
> to
> >
> > cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste,
> he
> > made an error in the e-mail address.
> >
> > His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's
> > wife whose even older husband had died only the day before. When the
> > grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor,
> let
> > out an
> > anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to
> > her room where they saw this message on the screen:
> >
> >
> >
> > Dearest wife,
> >
> > Departed yesterday as you know.
> >
> > Just now got checked in.
> >
> > Some confusion at the gate.
> >
> > Appeal was denied.
> >
> > Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.
> >
> >
> > Your loving husband.
> >
> >
> >
> > P.S. Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at
> > how hot it is down here.
> >
>
> ;D ;D

[jaybee]

;D Now that could be a concern eh ???

[Fisherman02]

;D ;D ;D

[jaybee]

Teach A Man to Fish
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

WOMENS VERSION:
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish - and you've got the whole weekend to yourself

Shark Bait

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.

"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing

[jaybee]

This one if for all the female members LOL

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

[timrough]

The plane crash

:)Ireland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small 2- seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery this afternoon in central Ireland.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to clime as digging continues into the night. ;D



Tim

[Fisherman02]

congrats to ya tim and jaybee
truelly fantastically hilarious. Steve if you are reading this please make a new section for fishing jokes and make jaybee a moderator for it
cheers jack

[jaybee]

;D give me break jack lol hey how did u go with the fishing down redcliffe..

[Fisherman02]

hey jaybee
i didn't go :'(
the olds decided not to go so i didn't do any fishing ::) ::)
cheers jack