Pom being a moron?

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Hi all. I'm a Pom from London! Pleasure to meet you all.

uhm... I have a tiny problem-ette with the fishing thing here in Aus that perhaps you could shed some light on?

Basically, it's stripped bait. I'm fishing the Tweed River, round about the Boyd's Bay area with my $30 Red Bone 8' general purpose rod (don't laugh!). I'm using the Tweed Bait squid. Problem is, every single time I cast in, within seconds I have a stripped bare hook. Every time! There's lots of little thumps on the line, but striking rarely hooks anything.

To date, I've caught 3 fish... a tiny little bream, a smaller thing with two big black spots and a completely terrifying thing that was square, had a blue face and a yellow 'beak', and black & white vertical zebra stripes down the sides. It was large, too. After I screamed in horror and invoked the name of the Archangel Gabriel, I released it and screamed some more. Anyone know what in the name of all that's holy that thing was??

But anyway, back to the plot... bare hooks. Am I being a complete spacka? I even tried tying the squid on the hook with line. No good :(. The bloke in the tackle shop told me to use a bigger hook and a bigger bait. I used a hook you could use for a grappling iron and a whole squid. Gone in seconds as per usual!

Help a bloke out?

Cheers all

R

[Fisherman02]

heymate
im also a pom from london but im in aussi.
mate the problem is that there seem to be a lot of pickers around where you are, as you have said you caught a small bream, small bream are notorious for snatching bait rightoff the hook, what you need to to is try and throw further out, or what I sometimes do is get a mate to chuck on a small hook put on a tiny strip of squid (take off the skin so it looks nice and white) and just keep catching the little buggers until they all go away, or else you could just belt a huge bait as far out as you can and hope for the best.
As a last resort look for another fishing spot :(
hope i have helped
cheers jack

[mackmauler]

[quote author=Render completely terrifying thing that was square, had a blue face and a yellow 'beak', and black & white vertical zebra stripes down the sides. It was large, too. After I screamed in horror and invoked the name of the Archangel Gabriel, I released it and screamed some more. Anyone know what in the name of all that's holy that thing was??
R[/quote]

Sounds like a white powder messing with ya brain kind of experience :o

[Big_Kev]

Yeah I have heard that the slime from some fish can have a similar effect as LSD.
LOL Kev

[MangroveJase]

Hi,

I used to live around the Tweed area , and fished the Tweed from the banks often. I found that you really need to pick the tides, a rising tide coming on to the late afternoon always worked well, and I used a lot of whitebait ior baby pillies (ask tackle store), with a bit of catfood and weetbixe for berley( just a little to the water at a time). A light weight (sinker) and two 1/0 hooks ganaged together. Any rocky area that is exposed at low tide worked well, and the pylons on the bridge are all action at times. Just throw the whitebait to the front of the pylon and let the bait float past the rear of the pylon(according to tide flow), some nice bream sit behind here in ambush, and a good assortment of other species. Mate it aint much but I hope it helps.

MangroveJase

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Many thanks for the replies and advice :)

Fisheman02 and MangroveJase: Haven't tried your advice just yet as I have been trying out some plastic lures, but I certainly will Thanks for that :).

I went fishing on the Tweed today on the banks and the large pier by the Boyd's Bridge. I tried my new Gary Glitter squidgies, but I only caught baby fish ;). Actually, I caught nothing at all on them. Might be me and my technique being crap, I dunno.

I had a few bites using some really old bacon rind that was like shoe leather. Finally, something that stayed on the hook past the usual first bite or two. Caught my usual two tiny bream with those. Yay me(!). Does anyone know where and how to catch flathead on the Tweed??

Mack and Reelhard: Oh, har har! By all accounts, it was a pufferfish I caught. Pretty scary looking thing that's lethal to eat. Trust me to catch that!

Cheers all

R

[swano]

render
sounds like you should stop buying bacon and plastics for a while , go to a fairdinkum(this is aussie for honest) tackle shop and ask and listen to what they have to say, and shout(this means put your hand in your pocket) yourself a day with one of the local guides, there are plenty in nswfm or qldfm. hope this helps.........
swano ;D

[Heath]

Mate,

Pickers will do it to ya everytime.

I'd has a guess that you are using a fairly large sinker as well. Try using no lead or as little lead as possible. Try a few different locations. Easy way is to get the street directory out & have a squiz in there for parks etc that lead to the waters edge. Once you have a bit more experience, maybe try the two groins that lead out of the Tweed :)

[Ron_Collins]

Hi Render

This is a trial test to find a response to line I posted here a while ago and it peears to have disappeared into the black hole. Ron.

[Randall]

Good speeling Ron!!! ;D

Randall.

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Swano: great idea. Might have to give that a go. Do these guides come with a safari of pygmies to cart the old tackle around, too? ;)

Heath: when you say "use no lead", do you mean with the Gaz Glitters or with the bait? And thanks for the advice, but I ain't fiddling in anyone's groin! ::)

Off I went fishing again today. As usual, I caught my stautory two small fish. One might have been a baby flathead, or a reef wrasse - something black and finny. The other was a baby parrot fish. Very nice and shiny. You'd wear it as a badge if you could. I fished behind the hospital in Tweed on the advice of the tackle shop there. I used some frozen white 'pillies', which turned to mush. Does one have to keep these things frozen? The remainder are salted in my freezer until tomorrow.

Now... Gary Glitters and lures in general. I categorically refuse to believe anyone has ever caught a fish on an artificial lure of any description. It's no use posting all your pictures of fish and outlandish claims about them - they're all lies and no-one is telling me any different. I was by the river bank using a Gazzer until I developed the worst case of ######'s wrist in history. Not even the tinest passing hint of a fishy nibble, although I did dredge up a couple of sinkers and rusty hooks. Anyone claim those?

It's all a conspiracy by the makers of artificial lures to con you into buying them. That slapheaded git John Howard is behind it and the revenue raised from the sales of these things go into sundry nefarious Black Projects, such as double thickness back armour for protection against knives in the back when doing politics with the French and the provision of better glasses for American Air Force Pilots. Or new white sticks, whatever.

Vote Fishing Party!

R

[Big_Kev]

Cor blimey mate, you aint spent enough knicker at the takle store for them to give you the good oil yet.
You seem to be able to catch fish as good as you guys can play Cricket, (sorry couldn't resist) .
Just keep at it I'm sure you will be learning a bit each time you go out.
Just joking Kev

[swano]

hey render!
i did'nt know that you could cast to the tweed from ya padded cell in the hospital ;D

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Reel hard: Cricket, you say? Crick-et?? #??? Hmmm, what size hook do you use for that? #:P
Swano: It has to be said, old bean, that you're the funniest bloke it has been my profound lack of displeasure not to be able to avoid meeting #;)

Went fishing again today, gawd help me. See above, except I caught one bream marginally below the legal size, which must have counted for the two tiddlers I usually catch. I should just chuck the squids right in and cut out the middle man. This time was at the Taranora park bridge on the Tweed, down by the Naval Cadet school (hello girls). I had some luck there, back in '96. Caught my first fishie in Aus - a decent flathead which I fed to my mother in law in the hope that it was a pufferfish. Ahh well, live and learn... she did ;D

There was a bloke there who was catching small bream and feeding them to a pelican. Don't complain about there being no bream about in the future, whomsoever you were! Them pelicans must have necks like leather to scarf down bream like that. The one I caught was armed with ninja spikes and dman near lacerated me paws. Bastad!

I expand upon my theorem that no-one has ever caught a fish on an artificial lure and that they are a tool of government revenue raising. I further put it to you chaps that ALL fish over six inches in length are a myth and that ALL fishing tackle sales above the size needed for those tiddlers go right into the back pocket of slaphead Howard. This is how is is and it's this way. No-one is telling me different!

Can some-one please tell me how to catch a flamin' flathead??

Muchas grassyarse,

R

[shawn]

http://www.ausfish.com.au/chat/images/smilies/cwm27.gif On an "artificial lure". ;D ;D ;D :P http://www.ausfish.com.au/chat/images/smilies/cwm2.gif

[banshee]

Moron?...definately. Spacka?....don't know what it means but if it's similar to Goose....Yes. Wankers Wrist?.... I seriously think old matey Render was born with this condition! Although this entity makes all the right noises associated with that much maligned creature known in Oz as "The poor dumb whingeing pom",I can't help think he is a G-up thrust upon us by a prankster.

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Moron?...definately. #Spacka?....don't know what it means but if it's similar to Goose....Yes. #Wankers Wrist?.... I seriously think old matey Render was born with this condition! Although this entity makes all the right noises associated with that much maligned creature known in Oz as "The poor dumb whingeing pom",I can't help think he is a G-up thrust upon us by a prankster.

Thou git! That's not nice at all!

I only wish it was all a 'gee-up'. Nope - 'tis all for real, I fear. I'm willing to prove it if you feel the need. I'll meet up on the Tweed with any kind soul who'll show me how to coax a finned fiend out of those shark-infested waters.

Any takers? Your 6 pack choice of piss-weak Aussie beer on me ;)

Oh, as for what a 'spacka' is , Ban-she, any decent mirror around you will have an excellent picture of a full-on spacka in it :P

R

[desertfisher]

Why is it that the people credited with inventing the english language,, are so shithouse at spelling? ;D ;D ::)
and as for our "piss weak beer",,, it's better than the lukewarm gins piss and bore water they alledge to be beer over there. lol :-X

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Why is it that the people credited with inventing the english language,, are so shithouse at spelling? ;D ;D ::)
and as for our "piss weak beer",,, it's better than the lukewarm gins piss and bore water they alledge to be beer over there. lol :-X

Hehehe #:P

Why is it that the descendants of the undesirables we exported to form a colony brave and new are so 'shithouse' at capitalising proper nouns such as England? Maybe one would 'alledge' you to be something of a stonethrowing glasshouse denizen, perchance? Anyway, barring the colloquialisms and the aberrant spelling of the phonetics thereof, you'll be hard pressed to find a mis-spelt syllable in any of my posts, so ner! Porcine onanist!

All banter notwithstanding - today, I cracked it, Igor! By George and a host of seraphim warbling like unto the silver bottom-toots of an angel, I found the bait that worked! I have a decent haul of legal-sized flatheads and bream in the freezer as well as many others that I released. These included another of those blue things, which a kindly gentleman (there had to be one somewhere in the Colony ;) ) explained was an Eastern Blue Devilfish. Every cast was a bite, every bite was a fish and the pickers were confounded apace. I didn't lose a single bait to pickers!

I thought long and hard on the probs I'd been having previously. Then, it hit me... the wonder bait! And by God it works!

So, thanks for the advice, those of you who gave it. It was much appreciated and may your lines twang like the rigging on a schooner perpetually.

Cheers,

R

[desertfisher]

Bastad????? ??? I think that may have been misspelt, you silly bastard. :P ;D Methinks you could be an inclusion on the list of "undesirables" exported from the land of the limey. ;) Tight lines to you mate,,,you are good for a laugh.

[ba229]

Let me guess... artificial lures. ::)

[adriancorrea]

LOL :D ;D
This pom is getting more bites from you guys than he is getting from the pickers lol :D :D
Good to see ya finally caught something legal render
so was it an artificial lure or did you find the fish markets down your way #;) :D :P

Tight Lines
Adrian

[bugger]

Haven't you guys got anything better to do than put shit on each other ?
Which reminds me
Why is a Pom like hemorrhoids ?

Because they come out
they won't go back
and they're both a pain in the arse !!

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Look at the state of this place! I go away for a couple of days and look what happens... sarky buggers lying about all over the shop! Go on - shoo! And take yer weak beer with you ;)

Well, I went to the waterside again over the past few days. What did I catch, you ask? The princely sum of sweet naff all, I reply. Not a tiddler, wonder bait or no wonder bait. Mind you - it wasn't just me... since the monsoon, the Tweed right now bears more semblance to the murky muddy waters of the Thames in my native London than its usual clear blue. Nobody was catching anything, not even the ubiquitious smug git who sits there tugging big fish after bigger fish out when all you can catch are sprats (you know the bloke... they call him 'Lollipop' since that incident when he caught one big fish too many and all the other anglers showed him a unique way to hold his rod hands-free ::) He still fishes standing up to this day).

Bites? Oh I got plenty of those. Mozzies, sandflies, midges - you name it. I even had the happy happy joy joy of my very first bull-ant bite. It went like this:
"Hey, unfeasibly large ant. If you stroll across the lid of my tackle box, you're liable to be squished when I close the lid to go home - an event which may come soon as I'm having sod-all luck with the fish. Here... allow me to lift you delicately to the ground with my fingers. Oooh. Awww shit. Jeeeeeeezus that SMARTS! Bastad! (squish)".

Not the happiest of events. Jeezy-peeps, blokes - is there anything in this farflung land of Oz that isn't deadly and only too willing to sink disproportionately large fangs into any portion of anatomy it can reach??

Anyway, back to the fish. I'm a bit loath to post what my so-called 'wonder bait' consists of until I've had a lot more good days with it. Don't want you blokes going out and spending your hard earned until I know it's the bait, not a fluke of good luck. Anyone got an estimate of when the Tweed will clear up?

Also a couple of teensy question-ettes for the expert fishers out there. First, how should one have the line when fishing? I heard that bream will drop a bait if they feel resistance. Should one have slack in the line or should it be tight to the touch?

Second... I see fron Nuggets Predictions that the early-morning tide will be good for flathead 'around the bar entrances'. What's a bar entrance and where can I find them on the Tweed?

Ta muchly blokes and good luck this weekend!

R

Oh, Bugger... great joke, btw. Could you tell me the one about the 747 and how it stops whining at the airport, at all? I've never heard that one either(!) :P

[adriancorrea]

Hi Render
Mate, fish for bream with as little lead as possible and keep the line tight.
The bar entrance is the start of the river, where the river meets the ocean
Hope this helps

Tight Lines
Adrian

[landy1]

;D
Oh that explains a lot. Ive spent a lot of time trolling for flathead around a different sort of bar entrance. ;D
cheers
Michael

[MangroveJase]

If you fish the Tweed, at the moment with the rain, fish it on an incoming tide pref the later 3 hrs, as there will be more salt water in the mouth. If you can get a half decent beach/rock rod, and float/sink a 'livie' out there, at the right time of day you may even pick up a 'jewie'.
Mate, then you'll have a story to take home.

Mangrove Jase

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Adrian and Jase: Spanks a lot for the advice. Aussie fishing is a heck of a lot different to the stuff back home, where we tend to use size 20 hooks and a maggot at the most! I'm having to start over from scratch here, so please excuse the dumb questions.

Mind you, I know me onions as far as the Brit fishies go... I've had a good half-dozen carp over 35lbs and my best pike was a 37 pounder. Won't mean much to you swarthy lot, but any Brit reading this will know what I mean. BTW, if any of you lot are heading up that way, as you lot tend to do, I'll return the favour and offer any advice I can, mates :) (Here's one bit of advice right now for any Amphibian heading for London - buy smaller f**kin' backpacks! Tube doors are only 12' wide, dammit >:( )

Uhm... where can I get 'livies' from?

Renders report of the day goes like this:

'Veni, Pisceus, Caughtus####allus', which means, if my rusty school Latin still serves me - 'I came, I fished, I had very little luck, Vicar'.

I did have just one seriously odd catch. It was a small mud crab, which put the crab in crabby. Grumpy sod. I really don't fancy tangling with a legal size one if this little beggar is anything to go by! Funny thing was, it was clutching a small eel-tailed catfish in it's claws. Not sure how it got tangled up in my line but there you go. One for the 'Weird Catch' thread ;)

I am away to try the bar entrance anon. If any of you are there over the next couple of days and see a bloke fishing who bears a marked resemblance to a sort of cross between Mel Gibson and George Clooney... it's probably not me :P

Michael: I dunno what's scarier... you trolling for flathead around entirely the wrong bar entrance, or you actually going home with them at closing time ;D ;)

Cheers,

R

[Render]

Gotta love the weather we're having... makes a bloke feel at home ::)

Another day, another river bank and yes - I can report that me so-called wonder bait really does work. It was ridiculous today. I have a sore shoulder from reeling in fish every cast. I also had to reel my bait in in every time I took a swig out of me swally because the bites were so heavy. This was the Tweed river, I should say. I fished the bar entrance over the weekend, but lost too much tackle on the bottom to want to go back there again. Is that an actual whirlpool in the bar bay by the Volunteer Rescue boat mooring, btw? Sure as hell looks like one.

Anyway, on with the bait. Yeah it works a treat. Anyone who posted posted helpful advice or cheeky banter in this thread, please feel free to ping me a message and I'll tell you all :P

Cheers,

R