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View Full Version : Holy Pan call, batman... Render buys a boat!!



Render
30-09-2003, 08:52 AM
Avast!

Shiver me matey's! Weigh the mizzen beam and heave the starb'rd boom ter the splice.

Haarrr!

Yep, it's true. Not satisfied with feeding bait to tiny bream from the shore, I've done got meself a boat from which to feed bait to tiny bream whilst afloat.

For the love of God!!

It's not much of a boat, it must be said. It's a white one. It floats in shallow water as long as the bottom is resting on a sandbank. It's got a pointy bit on the front and a whizzy sort of egg-beater thing on the flat end, which looks handy. Might use it to mow the lawn when I'm not on the river.

Anyway, they said I had to get a bit of paper saying I was licensed to drive a boat. This makes a change from the usual bit of paper I have to get, which says I'm licensed to leave the grounds of the institution... don't get many of those and usually only on Abu Dhabi State public holidays. Such is me lot.

Off I toddle to the very nice people at the Waterworks Office. Apparently, I needed to answer some questions and they'd give me a license. Not too sure if "I'll give you a licence if you take me to bed and make me howl like a dingo" is an official test question, but that's the only one the nice lady behind the counter asked before she gave me me licence. That happens a lot to Render - it's a curse of the Adonis genes I was handed down :(

So, one satisifed Aussie Cheryl later, I'm legally allowed out on the wet stuff, driving me own boat. Oy vey! I cracked a bottle of 4X over the pointy bit, named it 'Ying Tong Iddile I Boat' and shoved off. I came back later and the boat was still there, so I got in and went for a drive ;D

Gents, a wiser man than me once said "The more you learn, the more you realise how little you know" or better written words to that effect. How right he was. (Or she was... it could have been a she... I don't want to be sexist... one should never be sexist, 'cause tarts hate that).

I head out to the middle of the river and several things occur to me, more or less simultaneously. It occurred to me that I had not a Scooby how to actually drive a boat, having never done it and having stolen, erm.. passed me licence in NSW. It occurred to me that having finally worked out how to make the pointy bit on the front go left and right that I had NFI where or how to go about catching fishies from a boat. Different kettle of fish from the shore, pun intended.

Finally it occurred to me that crossing a large boats bow wave at full speed in an open boat is a corking way of getting a free shower ::)

Well, that's the tale. You lot got any advice pour moi? Specifically on the fishing bit... I'm OK with driving the boat now. I find that wearing dark glasses and tapping the water in front of the boat with a white stick usually makes most other boats give way to you. This little trick is an adaptation of the one I use whilst driving ;)

So, any advice on boat fishing??

Cheers!!

R

blaze
30-09-2003, 09:10 AM
Hi render
your always a good read, a must do when not fishing
have fun with the boat and have some fun, maybe even catch a fish or two
cheers
blaze

peterbo3
30-09-2003, 09:13 AM
Sorry Render,
NO one person (or even 2 or 3) on this site would be eloquent enough to answer your question. You have a way with words that none of us can match. ;) ;)
However, I am sure that one of the lurkers who live down Tweed way & who are boatless would gladly exchange info for a trip in your new vessel. 8) 8)

scroman
30-09-2003, 10:38 AM
Render, Render, Render, MMMMaaaaaaate ;D ;D ;D
I do recall you offering bribes, money, chickybabes for any hints, tips, advice, spot x's on catching fish in the tweed, well ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D tell me the isle number you acquired, received, slutted your license from ;) and i'll see what i can do
Not asking for much - you send me a pm if you want to keep it our little secret :-X
My cousin and i donged quite a few fish yesterday in the tweed area and i'm sure his license needs renewing as well so i promise that's really is as far as it goes ;) ;)
Congratulations on the new purchase - did it cost the same as your license and if so what shop did you go to ;D ;D
Happy hunting you sly dog [smiley=cool4.gif]
Your humble scroman in confidence ;)

Render
04-10-2003, 12:51 PM
Awww, ta loads for the compliments, mates.

It's far from eloquence, you know. Me fine Aussie missus tends to refer to it as "Will you STFU for once in your life, you motormouthed moron!". Isn't she lovely(?) Ahh well.

Pete, I was kinda hoping that the whole 'trip for tips' thing would pan out that way ;). If anyone's mad... erm, I mean interested enough to want a day's boating on some wet stuff somewhere (doesn't have to be the Tweed... Have Big 4WD, can Travel), then PM moi, by all means [smiley=stupid.gif]

Ahh now, Scro, me old muckah. Truly bloke, I wish I could say that I knew of a licence dispensor someplace somewhere over the metaphorical rainbow of the waterways. But alas and alack, I was a-jest when I said that I got a free licence for gettin' wriggly with the fine lass behind the counter.

Being the fine, noble and upstandingly chivalrous gent from the land of K-niggets and honour that I am, I sat me test in the time-honoured fashion of answering ridiculously easy questions about little coloured lights and signs. [smiley=angel.gif]

The tidy blonde behind the counter just offered me her phone number and a suggestive wink. Funny word, 'wink'. There's a shop called 40 Winks here that tried to open in New Zealand. With the accent thing, it went bust in weeks, but I digress.

What I can suggest, Scro, is a little tidbit of info that the Cheryl at Waterworks offered me. You can change your NSW licence for a QLD one over the counter. QLD licenses don't need the renewal thing, so maybe if you could get a QLD address, you could have a permanent boat licence that way? Worth a thought - I'm gonna be doing that.

Oh, BTW, I was driving past Barney's Point Bridge the Saturday before last, at about Chinese Dentist, when I espied a solitary figure esconsed in a Yellow Kayak flicking lures under the bridge. He was wearing a PFD and a black kind of Rabbi hat. Judging from the way there was a big gang of flatheads rolling on the seabed laughing, I suspect it might have been your good self??

If it was, did you see a guy in an Armani suit waving from a black Lamborghini Countach??

Yeah, well that wasn't me, cause I haven't got one, but I'll give u a toot next time I pass in me beatup old 4WD ;D.

Seriously, mate - if you fancy a day on the boat, give me a PM and we'll sort something out!

Cheers,

R

scroman
04-10-2003, 01:15 PM
Render - to say that i am disappointed about the whole lisence renewal fantasies which included bikini clad women driving centre consoles offering their 'services' for the 'practical' session 8) 8) - to say group lessons also appeared at one stage [smiley=devilish.gif]
in my visions of a revamped waterways patrol (something like the meter maid thingy on the Gold Coast)
Anyway back to reality [smiley=bigcry.gif] [smiley=bigcry.gif] [smiley=bigcry.gif] [smiley=bigcry.gif] You would be hard pressed to find a single pfd to fit unless they are like some sleeping bags and you can zip two together ;)
I spend most of my time when on the tweed a little north of the bridge ;)
Love to catch up and tell lies :-X pass on hints and tips i should say ;)
Will be on the water most of the weekend not sure where yet - doing some practical research around the oyster leases in terranora inlet - doing ok at the moment ;)
Will fill you in when we get together.
At least now i can save some fuel from driving around to all the testing depots asking for a bloody cheryl >:(
Catch ya soon ;D
Scroman