Need excuses

[devocean]

Have found myself in weird situation. The missus has been complaining about wanting to come fishing all the time. Dont mind this but she wants to go all the time. I prefer to fish with my mates because its less hassle, less whinging, more beers, etc. Am running out of excuses so if anyone has any let me know.

[Mick]

Scientists in New York have just completed a 4 year study that proves the feromones released from a female human being can react with h2o, to cause a sence of laziness amoung marine creatures. The feromones released into the atmosphere are heavier molecules then oxegen which causes the female feromones to fall into the water. This then reacts with all marine creatures, making them unlife like and lazy which in turn makes the fish lose all appetite and stimulation. So, the bottom line is less fish are caught when women are near the water.

Why do you think men do all the fishing in African and other third world countries?

[Mick]

Large grizzly bears have been spotted down at the local creek. It's not safe for women!

[Mick]

Tell her, if she starts coming fishing too often, ya mates will start joining ya's in bed.

[kleiny]

JUST TAKE HER OUT ON A REALLY ROUGH DAY, THAT NORMALLY WORKS ;)

[MAL]

Make her pregnant. ;) [smiley=oops.gif]

[subzero]

Im with kleiny.
Take her out on the booze the night before though, and prepare your berly a couple of weeks in adance, when its nice and ripe and the white buggers are crawling through it, its time to hit the water.. deckys looks after the s#it jobs dont they?.
If she can handle that, shes a better man than I am... ;D

[clutter]

I wouldn't try getting her crook yet and turning her away. What you should be doing is milking every last bit you can get out it. Tell her that you really need a better boat so you can both enjoy it even more, better quality fishing gear etc. When you are pretty satisfyed with everything then start going out in the rougher stuff and get her real crook, few greasy sandwiches to get her really going. Next time she asks to go just tellher the conditions are the same as when she got crook.

If all else fails, get her pregnant like someone else said.

Cheers,
Dr Clutter

[ba229]

tell her she is not welcome (fullstop)

nah tell her the truth...woman love that :-)

[bay_firey]

And here I am trying like mad to get my missus to come fishing with me

Maybe I should stop now before it's too late

[bungie]

Gimmie her email address and I will send her a link to this thread, that will stop her wanting to fish with you .... might stop her from living with you too tho ;D

[Cheech]

No, no, no,,, you are missing the opportunity that we are all looking for, and that is to go fising more regularly.

So go out heaps with her, then also go out the same amount with your mates. ie, if you normally go out once a week with your mates, then continue to do so, but with her, and then go out extra with your fishing buddies.

What could go wrong?? apart from perhaps you getting sick of going out so often???

[jimnbob]

Devocaean

And here was I thinking you were devoted to "er indoors" but your'e devoted to the ocean or your mates by the sound of it. Take your wife fishing - you are partners. Are the hastles because she is a more successful fisher than you?

Jim

[bidkev]

Jeeeeeez! I'm lucky! My deckie loves fishing and drinks like a fish. The only time she whinges is when she's struggling with a fish, and I take the rod off her.

[PinHead]

I used to take my wife out with me years back..now..absolutely no chance will I take her fishing and I have told her so.

You both have to have time apart ot have a successful marriage...you cannot do everything together all the time.

PLUS...ancient proverb say...women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen..no mention of fishing there.

PLUS... wife stands for:

Washing
Ironing
Feeding
Entertaining

no mention of fishing in their either...just show her these and I am sure she will understand.

[Thebuffalo]

I took my wife fishing a few times, til I ran out of her, swapped over to squid then ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[cooky]

Basically - don't leave her alone in the boat - "having you in the boat MAKES ME HORNY!" keep it up and you'll either get heaps - making you happy or she won't come (in the boat) as often - making you happy

[notts_so]

So many choices so many salutions f... teh exscuses tell her straight and stand ya ground its time to take charge lol
(whats yours is yours whats hers is yours)lmao
Mine got bard the day she droped my rod and reel into the drink very lucky she didnt get sacked lol
....notts so

[kevy]

cooky has got the clues, good one. just the same your a lucky man, at least you,ve got a crew all the time. kevy :D :D

[Dug]

Enjoy it! I would rather be fishing with a woman than some hairy bloke! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[bidkev]

Stop whingeing mate.......it could be worse

To Tech services:

18 months ago, I upgraded to GirlFriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which
I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently
conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try
and run GirlFriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, GirlFriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, Crabbing 2.6 and
Offshore 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a
shareware program, Dag 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus
in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the
same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each
other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this
product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0
tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with
FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2003. Shortly after this upgrade, however,
I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any
mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be
deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about
them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can,
without warning launch TurboBlue and Whinge. These latter products have
no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring
ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be
reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child,
processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games I
wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation. Also, when
Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Yamaha4stroke hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which
can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2004,
but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact
that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money
before uninstalling itself

[Dug]

How much does your missus need to spend on a new outfit and new shoes to go fishing?

And how much to go out in town for just one night?

[hoge]

TurboBlue and Whinge' there must be help files or ManKind as we know it is doomed.
Kingtin, after parousing this Chat Site for a coupple of years your post is the best entertainment I have enjoyed whilst being here.

dag 2.1 (aka mick)

[Spydaman]

Old Hawaiian belief that women are bad luck to fisherMEN, that if they touch or even walk over a man's fishing gear it will curse that piece of equipment forever so you must throw it away, and replace it with new. (i'm not making this up, it's a real belief)

[Volvo]

:)Buy yourself a little gas cooker n tell her she's gotta cook n make the coffee....
Cheers
Oh yes n do the washin

[devocean]

Thanks for the advice. Have found a new excuse, I told her she had to make the berley and I told her she had to use her (only for cooking use) blender, worked a charmer

[subzero]

Kingtin, bloody marvelous write up, I am going to print it out and take it to work and pin it on the notice board... still laughing as I type [smiley=2thumbsup.gif] ;D ;D ;D :)