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Mick
12-11-2004, 05:52 AM
Thought I'd post something a little bit different. The idea of this is everyone writes a line or 2 or 3 to continue the best fishing story ever written. Remember, every good fishing story has drama, exitement, danger and maybe some nudity. I will start things off...

Five celebrities were heading out to sea for a day of fishing. Sandra Sully (channel 10 News), Elle McPherson, Anthony Mundine, John Howard and Guy Sebastian.

They pulled up at their spot and dropped their lines overboard. Suddenly, an argument broke out between Elle and Mundine. Elle called Mundine a soft loser baby that sucks on lolly pops.... (continue the story)

bugman
12-11-2004, 05:59 AM
Mundine countered with a sharp verbal jab.

"Look I've seen the video of your sister and if it runs in the family I wouldn't touch you with a barge poll!

"She may be looking for whales all day on the water but all she really needs is a mirror"

John Howard thought this was the funniest thing he'd heard since the Liberal Party strategists suggested he wax his bushy mono brow to resemble a human.

devocean
12-11-2004, 06:03 AM
Meanwhile Guy Sebastian was asking Sandra how she gets her nails to shine the way they do when his line went tight and started to make a decent run....

zedjack33
12-11-2004, 06:11 AM
A jerk on one end of the rod (Guy Sebastian) :P, got a jerk on the other end. He was on on!

What ever it was on the line, ran like John Howard having to commit to party objectives!

As the screaming from the reel continued at such a great pace, Guys hair started to smoke.

NO, NO, not the FRO :o

DR
12-11-2004, 06:48 AM
While Mundine was distracted by the scream of the reel , & the squeal of Guy, Elle floored him with a well placed kick to the groin. Howard was impressed " i wish i had done that" he said.

ba229
12-11-2004, 09:14 AM
Sandra looked at john and asks "is that a bulletproof jacket under that shirt or are you just happy to see me?"

John responses with "I am way too much man for you Sandra. Did you ever hear what happened to Jennifer Kyte? That was my handy work"

While all this is going on Guy had reeled in the line to reveal ..........

philip_thomson
12-11-2004, 09:47 AM
the largest stinking grinner in the history of stinking grinners it was over 2m long. ;D Guy said to John "look it's grin is as large as your mono brow. [smiley=2thumbsup.gif]

the boat was hit by a freak wave and it knocked anthony straight onto a .........

Heath
12-11-2004, 11:19 AM
baby whale. Mimi shouted " Can I jump in too?" Choc replied " Only if you show me how to use a computer & how to double click a mouse" Mimi replied with a smile as Guy yelled out.....

bugman
12-11-2004, 11:27 AM
EDIT ### not continuing the story but I see someone else has seen the video #;D ;D ;D ;D /EDIT######3

jimbamb
12-11-2004, 11:40 AM
the whale took one look at choc and with a flick of its tail sent choc high into the air,whilst mumbling sumthin about glass jaws.

ba229
12-11-2004, 06:23 PM
anthony (chocko) ended up landing back in the boat and said " man that was a hell of a punch"

johnny looked at him and said " nah son what till you meet pauline" ;D

it's at this time that sandra says "hang on guys i think i have something and it ain't a crab".....

Sportfish_5
13-11-2004, 02:37 AM
Sandra fought hard and finally set the gaff into the biggest brown trout ever seen.

Johnny was pleased - " We need a few more of them if we are goin to fire the barbie up tonight"

Choc smiled to himself for he had a secret :-X

NQCairns
13-11-2004, 05:18 AM
"Hang on!" says Guy looking mighty surprised "whats a brown trout doing out at sea?"

"Thats one of those species that looks for a better home than a scungy lake" recites Sandra with the monotone of a home range picatorial expert.

"Bloody hell!" exclaims Johnny "I ill choke on that!, break its spirit and thow it overboard fast!"

Johnny with the air of a skipper convinced he can now keep the boat afloat order's,
"Elle! you good for nothing loafer, put some clothes on and quickly now, unlock.... THE BRIG!!!.... "

Staring at the back if Guy's head, Chocs smile gets broader as the chains are dragged away..... although unsure if it was lust or mutiny he could sense?

Mick
13-11-2004, 07:01 AM
Through the bushy lantana hair on guys head, chock could see another boat coming towards them. Chock laughed as his little secret was about to become common knowlege. Sandra, half naked Elle, Johnny with his pirate hat on and guy all looked at chock and asked him what was so funny. They soon realised what the joke was as the other boat got closer. It was some mates of Chocks. Dizzy Gillespie, Nathan Blacklock, Cathy Freeman, Preston Caampbell, David Peachy and some of the cast and crew from Rabbit Proof Fence and Crocodile Dundee 1.
All of a sudden Sandra pulled in what appeared to be another nice fish, but it turned out to be a dugong...

cindy
13-11-2004, 07:58 AM
You guys, boys will be boys !
Methinks a couple of you have your hands on your rods!
lol
Cindy

Mick
13-11-2004, 08:43 AM
It was a talking dugong named cindy. Cindy said, "all you fisherman are perverts! I bet you are all wishing I was a glamourous mermaid."
Sandra said, "not me cindy, I like you just the way you are. Come home to my place."
So cindy jumped into the boat for the ride home.

notts_so
13-11-2004, 09:04 AM
As the boat pulled in and anthony said his hellos cathy ran over to sandra and said looks like where just in time for lunch ide better look after that dugong as you all nebber cooked one b fore

Dino
13-11-2004, 09:28 AM
Cindy looked up after the ride of her life and said to Sandra "this is much better than thos little boy's rods!"

devocean
13-11-2004, 11:05 AM
However after munchin on cindy the dugong Sandra began to worry about all those lonely boys on the with only mimi to keep them company. That and the fact that she was keen to wet a line, she quickly dumped cindy with the old its not you its me trick and headed back out trolling a couple of wolfherring along the way. Suddenly she had a hook up and after a long fight she realised she had captured Paris Hilton and her buddy. Well the boys were going to be excited!

But when she got back to the boys she found the boat they were in had started to sink because the combined egos of nathan blacklock and chock mumdine were to much for the boat.

David Peachey had enough and decided to throw Blacklock overboard as no one really wanted arugby player on the boat anyway because we all know how soft they are...
Just then they all looked up and saw the hirls approaching. David Peachey yelled out............

Mick
13-11-2004, 11:10 AM
I want my mummy!

hoge
14-11-2004, 04:20 PM
and It's not that choppy...,weve been out in worse`. Whats more I'm going to see a felllow from Agnes Waters who can help me with this itch I just cant scratch. Then I will go and see my old mate.................................

predator
14-11-2004, 05:28 PM
.... the one who wears the licra. He's just got rid of the itch and the crawlies.

Bugger it, I will ......

Spydaman
15-11-2004, 08:07 AM
meanwhile, back on the bow of the boat Elle decided to continue her nude sunbathing when all of a sudden...

Volvo
15-11-2004, 08:42 AM
A Suckerfish jumps outa da water n onta the bow of the boat n sez, "Hoohee!! Ellie, ize gunna eat ya all up ;D" n Ellie sez :) eat , eat , eat , dont anybody believ in

devocean
15-11-2004, 11:29 AM
Paris moved in for a closer look as she had never experience a sucker fish before and she had tried about everything. She grabbed her video camera and asked one of the boys to giver her a hand when the rod out the back of the boat which had a live fusilier on screamed off and the sucker fish looked over board in dismay as the shark it had previously been sucking had just taken the bait. It quickly spat the hook and then set a course right for the boow of the boat. It wanted elle bad it wanted it sucker fish back...then sudenly

MAL
15-11-2004, 11:52 AM
All hell broke loose. 8)

philip_thomson
15-11-2004, 01:34 PM
the shark bit through the anchor rope and elle fell off the bow from the shock ;D , the engines had broken and they began to drift towards .........

Volvo
15-11-2004, 02:09 PM
:othe sucker Fish, who were all swimmin towards her in haste mumbling, eat, eat, eat or was that suck, suck, suck ???.
Anyhow's, all mayhem breaks loose as Gay sebastion(or was that Guy Sebastion??) drops his dacks and without a second thought jumps

Mick
16-11-2004, 03:34 AM
right onto the sucker fish. The sucker fish takes one look at Gay and grabs him by his thumb, as the sucker fish couldn't find any other part of the body large enough to suck on. The sucker fish takes Gay down into a death roll and drowns him. Gay's hair is now a home to 3 clown fish. Elle is helped out of the water by Johnny Howard. Johnny looks at Elles naked body and thinks..., if only this was Peter Costello. Sandra then sceams at Elle pointing to her leg, "Elle! There's something tangled around your upper thy...

MAL
16-11-2004, 05:22 AM
The startled sea snake sank his fangs into Ells thigh, Sandra lept into action, ripped the snake off Ells thigh, throws it. In her confussion Sandra throws it towards Little Johnny, who is still thinking of a naked Peter Costello, the sea snake wraps around Little Johnnys neck, and then....

devocean
16-11-2004, 06:08 AM
Begins to realise that if he kills litle johnny he will be a national hero and that all recreational fishermen will be saved. So he tries harder but the eyebrows are hjust to bushy and the sea snake relaises that if he tries any harder he will get caught up in them and face a life stuck to john howards face. So he is forced to let go. But he sees another victim close at hand.....

jimbamb
16-11-2004, 08:01 AM
meanwhile choco is still tellin anyone who will listen,how good he is,and challenges gay seb to a...................

Volvo
16-11-2004, 08:48 AM
an eyebrow pluckin competition in the hope it just may attract little Johny eyebrows away from.......

Render
16-11-2004, 01:48 PM
...the scene in the cabin!

Whilst everyone had been watching tiny John's unfeasibly huge eyebrows send distress signals in semaphore to his mate George's spy satellites, Elle, Paris and Sandra had sashayed off into the cabin and were now engaged in torrid, menage-a-trois sapphic shennigans!!

This looked like someone was actually having some fun, so Teeny Johnny immediately tried to pass a law banning it. Gay Sebastion's piggy little eyes narrowed at this. Reaching up into his enormous Afro, he pushed aside the aircraft warning beacon on top of it, and pulled out a semi-automatic shottie.

"But.. but... I banned them" spluttered MicroJohn. "People were having fun with 'em!! I can't have that!"

Gay Sebbo grinned evilly, pushing six feet of afro out of his eyes and into the propellor of a passing seaplane, which gave him a nice neat flat-top.

Cooly, he levelled the shotgun at Widdle Johnny's disproportionately wide forehead, which was blazing in the sun like one of those radar telescope things they look for black holes with.

"Not, this one ya didn't" he said. "I hid this and a few belt-fed brownings in me hair-pouch. Now say yer prayers, tiny man... it's payback time".

Johnny sank to his knees... "Please don't kill me", he stuttered in Strine... "My life's work remains incomplete... all over Australia, people are enjoying themselves... fishos are catching fish... stuff like that. I've gotta ban it... I *have* to!!!"

Gay Sebbo moved the barrel of the shotty lower. "You're gonna get 12 gauges of buckshot *RIGHT* between your ludicrous eyebrows", he said, like Arnie would, only with a bit of a camp lisp.

He frowned... perpelexed and searching. Finally he asked in a confused voice...

"Where IS the middle of them bushy farkers, anyway?!"

Suddenly...

CHRIS_aka_GWH
16-11-2004, 02:27 PM
a light appears from across the water ...

CHRIS_aka_GWH
16-11-2004, 02:29 PM
Whoops - it was just Peter Beattie bending over they realise - but then the cabin door opens ...

devocean
16-11-2004, 02:58 PM
Back to the cabin where all the action is taking place....

jimbamb
17-11-2004, 10:44 AM
Elle says " if theres goint to be any pluckin goin on i want to be part of it,I.m a model ys know" and proceeds to remove her...............

cooky
17-11-2004, 11:44 AM
video camera from her bag - "my sister has more internet coverage than me dammit!!"

"Forget Mimi, Paris, Pamela - Elle will show everyone she's not goooeennnee yet"

"that sucker fish is nothing on me"

with that powerful statement she proceeds to.....

Mick
17-11-2004, 02:27 PM
show the boys the ancient art of naked sucker fish wrestling. It sort of goes like this....

Heath
18-11-2004, 03:21 AM
she grabs the sucker fish & rubs all over her body, Paris suddenly lets out a loud "EEEEEEEEEEUUUWWWWWWWWW" which startles all in the cabin. Elle drops the sucker fish which quickly rolls out the door, over the deck & into the water.

Guy suddenly busts into the room to see what the ruckus is about. Then he feels what he thinks is a gun in his back, but he turns around to see Choc standing there & realises it is actually his...........

MAL
18-11-2004, 03:25 AM
Lets try some fishing, and with that they.........

philip_thomson
18-11-2004, 06:47 AM
went fishing ;D

DaneCross
18-11-2004, 07:01 AM
Because in fact, what Guy was feeling in his back was the butt of Chocs spin rod. "There's some good surface action on out port side, get your white nekkid asses out here and get into 'em... I'm the man... Brudda."
So they all scrambled out to find...

where_is_dave
18-11-2004, 07:25 AM
...a collins class submarine noisily surfacing in a rush with what appeared to be the entire Indonesian fishing fleet following close behind...

drb
18-11-2004, 09:54 AM
at which point Johnny adds "Quick call Philip Ruddock. We must put them in the detention centres or Australia as we know it will cease to exist. They will take all our jobs. Was that a child just thrown overboard?".........

devocean
18-11-2004, 10:14 AM
Suddenly a huge school of mack tunas started to surface and everyone grabbed a rod (Paris had two) and began casting into the mass of tuna. Lines went taught when suddenly

philip_thomson
18-11-2004, 11:43 AM
paris hilton hooked on to a biggn . she fought it for an entire hour. the gaffie was becoming very tired of standing there waiting for her to bring up the fish. after 1 hour the fish finally broke the surface. it was a 1kg mack tuna. choc began laughing so hard that he .......

Barrymundi
18-11-2004, 01:27 PM
fell over, face first into Elle's lap, "mmm I smell anchovies" says the Man

cooky
19-11-2004, 05:55 AM
Little John hooks up and excitement fills the boat as his rod bends over with what looks like a HUGE TUNA. He gets it near the boat only to realise it's one of those indonesian children. He grabs the GAFF and declares "little bastards!!" as he rams the gaf through the kids......

philip_thomson
19-11-2004, 07:22 AM
Teddy Bear :o :'( :'( :'( :'(

Mick
19-11-2004, 07:51 AM
Sandra screams, 'No Mr Howard. Nooo! Don't hurt the little indonesian children, you silly excuse for a national leader! Don't you know how hard these kids will work for $2.00."
"Awwww, crikey, ya right Sandra. Maybe we can put them to work in the Nike Air sweat shops out the back of Shane Warne's place." Johnny replied.
Chock said, "Wait, I got a better idea, I know a factory in Nimbin that are looking for trust worthy staff to do some sort of harvesting!"

Johnny said, "no way ya sacred site claiming, appology wanting, VB drinking, park invading, no good for nothin boof head. The last time I was in Nimbin the locals told me they were coming to get me right after they finished eating a packet of potato chips and a seven eleven hot dog, I aint goin back to that place! Freaks!"

Elle said, "so what are we going to do with the little indo boys?"

cooky
19-11-2004, 10:34 AM
Gay Sebbo says "hmmmm darling I know exactly what we can do with them....."

cooky
19-11-2004, 10:37 AM
Elle gives a questioning glance

Gay Sebbo says "daaaarrrrlinnnggg it's pretty simple really - we're on a boat and it involves a Rod and Butt" :P

Elle gets excited at another chance to go fishing.

John gets excited at.....

philip_thomson
19-11-2004, 07:03 PM
the possibility of finishing there only half started eye brow plucking contest. mean while elle is flicking slugs around when out of no where a large .........................

MAL
19-11-2004, 07:16 PM
Russian nuclear submarine break's the surface, a hatch opens, and who should appear........

CHRIS_aka_GWH
20-11-2004, 03:35 AM
Vlad the Impaler ...

He waved his mighty fist in the air & screamed

"Has anybody seen my ......."

cooky
20-11-2004, 05:10 AM
"missile? it's really big...."

"no really it is....

I go off with a bang!!!"

Vlad is drunk and says "can you help us, we need more......

CHRIS_aka_GWH
20-11-2004, 05:17 AM
coconut oil. Its works a treat on the missiles to ....

cooky
20-11-2004, 06:51 AM
make them slide into tunnels nice and easy"

Gay Sebbo is now drooling and says

"Vlad can I please see your 'missile'"

with that Vlad grabs Gay and ...........

devocean
20-11-2004, 07:52 AM
send only if you sing me that really cool song of yours. But Guy will only agree if he can sing it with Choc rapping in the background. Vlad becomes angry at this request and gives the order for the submarines to attack guy.

cooky
20-11-2004, 11:27 AM
the russian 'sailors' have already taken a 'liking' to Gay Sebbo, so refuse and leave their Captain on the fishing boat. Gay jumps into the submarine and they dissappear into the depths. Gay will be well looked after :-*

Now Vlad is stuck on the fishing boat he declares.....

ba229
20-11-2004, 11:50 AM
"Yaaa Commerads Vodka's all round"

MAL
20-11-2004, 02:25 PM
but there was no vodka only bundy........

jimbamb
21-11-2004, 05:53 AM
Vlad grabs a can of bundy and says " i'll show ya where to put this stuff " and proceeds to....................

cooky
21-11-2004, 06:14 AM
throw it over Elle and Paris and declares "while in Queensland - let us have wet bundy t-shirt competition" :P

the winner is....

Heath
21-11-2004, 10:29 AM
Elle by a long shot. Little johnny remarks " never did like fried eggs" Just as the girls were cleaning up, a massive bust up of mackerel appears out the back of the boat. Choc throws his lure our & starts winding furriously when he hooks up solid, but only to find.......

devocean
22-11-2004, 07:38 AM
Another bloody tuna and the rest of the crew starts laughing at him when suddenly something leaps out of the water and consumes the 2 kg tuna...

Mick
23-11-2004, 06:07 AM
It was John West....

jimbamb
26-11-2004, 05:27 PM
he regurgitates the tuna as he only takes the best and eyes elle standin in the wet bundy soaked t shirt and says

devocean
27-11-2004, 04:38 AM
how do you feel about a tuna fishermen and she says

cooky
27-11-2004, 05:24 AM
you'll know if you come over here and feel....

Mick
27-11-2004, 06:20 AM
... my double barrel shot gun ya sleezy tuna oiled grub. My heart is only for ausfish member...