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View Full Version : ENTERTAINMENT AT THE BOAT RAMP



slugo
01-02-2005, 09:17 PM
GDAY ALL ..found the best fishing spot after work.ya local boat ramp. a few mates and i grab a 6 pack, rods, and bait and head off to the local boat ramp sit back and wait.while we wait for the fish to bite and sipping on a beer we check out the yuppys with there new 1st boats launching experence sometime we dont know weather to laugh or cry.

did you know it is not a good idear to undo the winch before the boat is in the water..( CRUNCH )
did you know the boat floats better with the bungs in..
did you know not to leave the motor down when driving away
did you know to put the hand brake on when recovering a big heavy boat ( SPLASH ) ..yep the car..
yes we have seen all the above happen and much more ..
so for a good free show just go to the boat ramp and you will enjoy. ( HAVE YOU BEEN TO YOUR LOCAL BOAT RAMP )


PS ..can't wait for easter

Tony_N
02-02-2005, 01:04 AM
Hey slugo

Were you the kid at school who used to love pulling the wings off flies? :D

I figured that everyone who owned a boat had left the bungs out once in their boating life.

I have even seen very experienced people (who are highly critical of other people's mistakes) screw up very badly.

jeffo
02-02-2005, 02:01 AM
ill agree with tony... but yes you get all sorts at the boat ramps. especially over holiday periods.good for a chuckle, but sometimes lending a hand to new boat owners can go a long way....jet skiers on the other hand, well they are on their own ;D

adrian
02-02-2005, 03:22 AM
i agree with slugo the silly things that go on at the ramp is a good day out [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]. in fact i'm sure that i've made someones day as i've slipped down the ramp myself. it's better to watch and learn by someones elses mistakes then your own .
also in saying that if you offer a hand to some of these poeple you do get told to p###*** off or words much worse . it is true that we all make mistakes and the only way to learn is by them
if they want a hand then they will ask

anzac

Barrymundi
02-02-2005, 03:47 AM
I guess it would have been funny to watch my wife knock me over and hit the side of the trailer with my new fibreglass boat.

The repair bill was about $240, the bruise on the chest lasted about a month.

About as funny as jammy wasps up my butt.

And we have owned boats for about 15 years, so we have a little bit of experience

Al

cooky
02-02-2005, 04:53 AM
yuppys with there new 1st boats

i'm not sure if the 'yuppies' you refer to own boats and I would question whether they should be called that if they've invested in an Outdoors, Active, Australian activity.

I thought yuppies were more 'metrosexual' city, cafe, latte sipping girly men types?

Anyone giving boating a go should be congratulated in my book. So many people knock boating people (like me) because they can't understand the enjoyment or the cost.

Escapee
02-02-2005, 05:30 AM
Hey Slugo

Remember when you first bought a boat and all the mistakes you made untill you had a bit of experience under your belt? There is a great Aussie tradition of helping out a fellow Aussie who looks like he or she could do with some help. Isn't that part of what the outdoor fishing life is all about?

Seems to me that you are taking enjoyment out of other peoples misfortunes. Sad.

Fisheasy
02-02-2005, 05:40 AM
I just love going a**e up on the slippery slime at the end of the ramp at dead low tide.... heaps of fun that! ;D
I think most people are quite helpful at ramps, particularly if the wind's causing havoc when retrieving the boat.
I've seen boats come off trailers onto the ramp where people back up at full noise and hit the picks to launch the boat. Sometimes the timing's just not quite right.
It's terrible we laugh at these things but i suppose it's human nature ::)

agnes_jack
02-02-2005, 05:40 AM
Hey slugo
Nothing wrong with a good laugh mate, should be more of it.
Plenty have had a laugh at my expense, doing stupid things!
No one got a sense of humor anymore??????
Must say I often have a cackle at the ramp, I'm also about the only one who ever offers assistance too.

Lifes good when you can have a laugh! or see the funny side of being laughed at!

Regards, Tony ;D ;D ;D

Hooker1
02-02-2005, 07:49 AM
It would be interesting to know who's made the most mistakes or had things go wrong at the ramp.
My list:
rope snapped when I pushed the boat off the trailer and watched it drift into the night (bream fishing in winter).

No bungs

Fetched boat but had the trailer over the end of the ramp. Made it impossible for the car to pull the boat over the ridge (lots of burning rubber).

Boat stuck on trailer so gave it an extra big shove and pushed car too.

Dropped large rock on leg that I was going to use as a chock (after pushing car in water time before)

Went to fetch boat but found winch had been stolen (not my fault but looked amusing to others).

Tried to pull new boat up ramp and found old car could not do it (blew exhaust gasket).

Tried to wind boat onto trailer and broke the winch after the boat filled with water when the transom disintegrated.

peterreb
02-02-2005, 07:57 AM
At B.P. dam, put the boat into water,wondered why the transom was getting lower in the water,realised the bungs weren't in and very briskly winched onto trailer to drain water.In the mean time a line up of boats waiting to get into water.Felt about 2' tall and wanted to hide under a rock!!
Cheers Peter

devocean
02-02-2005, 08:02 AM
You were in experienced once yourself

Wezza
02-02-2005, 08:20 AM
Yes you do see some funny things at the ramp on occasion, and im sure we have all done something stupid as well. If I see someone having difficulty im the first to offer assistance and like to think the same in return.

stack
02-02-2005, 08:20 AM
Saw a bloke at Eildon Weir one day fly down the ramp hit the skids ramp was wet boat and Commodore in the water Wife and kids on the bank rolling round laughing at him as he waded back swearing.Gotta wonder if that marriage survived that weekend!! ;D

Bozo
02-02-2005, 08:45 AM
A mate and I launched a boat off the beach last year he thought i had tied it on to a tree and I thought he had,only to see boat disappear out to sea, when we finally realised what had happen. In mad panic to retrieve boat bogged 4WD on beach, luckily there was some other campers down the beach so they rescued boat while we dug the 4WD out. Had a few beers that night. Both experienced fisho's.

Cheers
Bozo

agnes_jack
02-02-2005, 09:11 AM
Heres a few of my many.
One day peak christmas, the ramp was chockers, every parking spot for at least 5-600m in either direction had a car and trailer in it.
I backed the boat in and left my mate holding it next to the ramp. It took me about 15min's to park the car and walk back to the ramp. As I approached the ramp I could see my mate waving and jumping up and down in a mad panick. When I got a bit closer I realized what he was going on about, no bung plugs!!
I raced back to the car but by the time I got back the boat was to heavy to winch back on the trailer. We had to creep the boat back on to the trailer bit by bit as the water drained. ;D
Another funny one for the onlookers:
I was standing on the nose of my boat as a mate drove in to the ramp, as we stopped on the shore I grabbed the bowrail and flipped myself over, but the bowrail mounts let go as I was in mid air! Landed flat on the ground, much to the amuzement of the onlookers ::)

All good fun Regards, Tony

fsh00
02-02-2005, 10:17 AM
Seen a bloke coming into ramp(fiberglass boat) sitting on bow ready to jump only to get his pants caught on bowroller and hang mid air while the boat made a crunchy land fall ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Mad_Barry
02-02-2005, 10:44 AM
There are only 2 types of boaties.

1/ Those that have already left the bungs out.

2/ Those that are yet to do it. ;D

dazza
02-02-2005, 10:56 AM
have had a few good laughs at boat ramps and don't feel guilty about it, because I have provided plenty of entertainment over the years.

all the usuals like leaving bungs out and falling arse over etc.
my best was

i had an old suzuki sierra soft top, it had a bit of a dicky clutch. to get the tinney out of the water you had to give it a few revs, drop the clutch and hang on :o :o. all good except one day forgot to put it in first gear, still had it in reverse ::) ::). lets just say the little suzi went pretty well as a submarine ;D ;D

the woman holding the boat next to us, (once she got over the initial shock of some lunatic reversing down the ramp) nearly split herself laughing. i can still remember her eyes bulging out of her head :o :o

fortunatley once in forward gear, out she came 8) 8)
at the top of the ramp i was greeted by my deckie who was also in hysterics.
to this day i still have a chuckle at my little mishap :P :P
cheers
dazza

Fishin_Dan
02-02-2005, 11:18 AM
Funniest thing I've ever heard of was my younger brother taking his parents out for a nice relaxing day in his ski boat. He reversed the boat in (Dad was in the water guiding him, Mum was in the passenger seat), when Mum noticed a mentally handicapped person walking up to her window waving at them. Brother wound the window down, and the guy was making noises and waving at the boat. Brother said "Thanks buddy, it is a nice boat, yes" and continued reversing.

A minute later brother hears a yell from Dad "Drive forward, Drive forward!". He drives forward, and water rushes out the back of the boat! He hadn't put the bungs in, and the transom went under water as water rushed in! The handicapped guy knew it and just stood there smiling as my bro had to deal with a very soggy boat! ;D

seqfisho
02-02-2005, 11:18 AM
Why does the TV show Funniest Home Vidoes get such good ratings???????????

Boat Ramps are no different, nor are the people who watch the proceedings.

I know Ive done it, been the one laughing and the one laughed at, its all part of life and we should treat it as such.

But I'll never forget the morning at a ramp in Botany Bay as one of our ethnic cousins was launching his old glass rig and had the bow line in his hand ::)( a dressing gown cord, I kid u not and only about 4 ft long) push the boat off the trailer and it took off so quick he couldnt stop it, but there was no way he was gunna let go so a 5 oclock swim was the order of the day fully dressed gumboots n all in the middle of winter, he kept hold of that cord and finally dragged himself onto the bow as he drifted downstream, only to call out for someone to help bring him back in cause the boat battery was also the car battery :o and he was by himself..........I still get a good laugh from that, luckily he was dragged back to the ramp so he could move his car and trailer off the ramp and continue his day ::)

Mustve been keen cause he wouldve been freezing , it wouldve been enough to send me home for the day and count myself lucky that it was the worst that could happen and not push my luck any further.

regards Glen

Razza
02-02-2005, 03:22 PM
I can give you all a laugh, though it didnt seem too funny at the time
My younger brother and myself had been out off the Gold Coast fishing all day, Good day too plenty of fish great weather
Got back to boat ramp just after dark ,pulled boat out,parked about ten meters from top of ramp to secure boat and give it a general cleanout.
Tow vehicle was younger brothers work ute Hz one tonner loaded with cans of paint.
Well ute was warming up in park with hand brake on when two little thieves decided to see what they could pinch from inside the ute and accidentaly knocked it out of gear .
Hand brake wasnt too crash hot so boat and ute started rolling back towards ramp with us two trying to stop it
Story ends with boat and ute in the water with boat being the only thing stopping the ute from going off the three metre drop at the end of ramp, 100 cans of paint floating round marina.
Had to get tow truck to pull us out and take a dip to connect tow rope to front of ute,Two blokes in a row boat paddling around the marina collecting paint cans.
Two days to dry out ute, 2 new headlights and a new battery and it was traded in 4 days later.
Razza

getwet
02-02-2005, 04:59 PM
heres a beauty
bragging to mate while taking the tiedowns off the boat and trailer in the rigging lane, about the cheap new power winch i had just fitted to the trailer. i get in the ute to line her up on the ramp as i take off i hear all this comotion.so i stopthe ute and look in the mirror and the boat is laying on the road.(hadn't tighteded the clutch up on the winch) # three guys are cleaning a haul of jack right next to me and all are pissing themselves.very embarrised i get out to inspect the damage. not so bad just a little gel coat off the arse. any way use the
winch to get the boat back on the trailer with a bit of helpful advice from the jack catchers, put her in the water and have a great day out.
i must have looked so stupid to my mate. but he never said any thing.

cheers mal

Jeremy87
02-02-2005, 07:39 PM
apart from forgetting the bungs the dumbest thing i've done at a boat ramp was when i was cleaning some fish. Had just caught a bunch of table sized flat head (50-60cms). we were chucking them straight into the ice box as we went (the last fish was caught about a half hour prior). Anyway had left them just on the edge of the water when i had just begun to scale one when the most recently caught fish flipps into the water and slowly begins to swim off. I jump into the water trying to catch it with my hands but it was to slippery and got away. The old man got a good kick out of that one.

NEWBY
03-02-2005, 01:34 PM
I will appologise to the thought police and politically correct now but I AGREE WITH Slugo. It is a laugh and when I used to F*#K things up every time I went to put my boat in, I am sure there were many laughing at me too. It is human nature to laugh at the misfortunes of others. How many Michael Jackson jokes do we all laugh about. How many text messages have you had with Tsunami jokes?. Well I have had plenty of all of them and had a giggle. Ease up on the old Slugo and have a laugh at life.

flattymattyb
03-02-2005, 01:47 PM
Hi all,

My best so far was not at the boat ramp but still funny. I was pumping yabbies one friday arvo, boat was pulled up on the bank and I was merrily pumping away when out of the corner of my eye I see a boat floating down the channel then it clicked thats my boat and the light easterly was blowing it further away so of with all the winter woolies (yes 4:30pm on a july arvo brrr) and in i go when I got in the boat noticed all the guys sitting on the jetty 200m away pi**ing themselves.

Another good spot to take an esky and have a few laughs is the entrance/exit to main beach on straddie late afternoon on crissie holidays, give those that don't make it a big cheer then head down and giv'em a hand to dig out hours of fun and a good way to learn how to get off a beach properly. ;D.

Cheers
Matty

GrahamW
04-02-2005, 08:53 AM
This is too good a thread for me not to add my few boating (including Trailer) stuff ups...

1) Holding up a busy single lane ramp on the Gold Coast as my buddy & I pushed & pushed the boat for several minutes to no effect before a passing boat pointed out we seemed to still have the boat manacled to the trailer by a chain & padlock at the blunt end that we had forgotten & couldn't see from the other end... ...
2) Off ramp launching at Maroon Dam & then driving the trailer over an unseen stump, bending the axle. Managed to drive 90 of the 100 kms home before the uneven wear on one tyre burnt through the rubber & blew the tube. Left sitting in the boat on the side of the road whilst the family went home & I waited for the tow truck - I then lost count of the helpful wags driving past who wanted to know if I had caught anything there...
3) Fishing on my own trolling with 2 rods on Lake Gregory using electric when first rod goes off with nice bass on, as I was holding this the second rod goes off & also goes over the side... can't bear to lose favourite (& most expensive outfit) so throw rod 1 into well of boat & leap overboard after rod 2... feels great to grab on to it until I bob to the surface & watch my boat continue off into the distance on autopilot...
4) Relying on bearing buddies to look after bearing condition & again launching off ramp at Maroon when I wonder why the trailer is making a bit of noise when my buddy points out the wheel on his side has dropped off (more towing & repair expense). This was a good day for my tow truck driver at Maroon. As he was about to look after me a jet-ski rider from across the opposite side came over to beg for help as in trying to do some clever bank side launching of his own he had seen his combi van slide back & go submersible into the dam.

BUT at least I am still in the boat owning club who have not yet left the bungs out !

Graham

gunna
04-02-2005, 10:49 AM
GrahamW - had to chuckle at the mental picture of no. 3 #;D ;D.

It is nice to see some get their come-uppence. #Bloke unloads his ski boat diagonally across the three lane ramp, then proceeds to have a chat with some fellas nearby. #All the boaties are lined up waiting and grumbling - but being patient. #Local rescue association has sausage sizzle going so there is another bunch of blokes watching and #grumbling about this bloke's poor attitude. #This fella knows everyone is getting the shits so very slowly clears the ramp just to annoy people even more. #Climbs into the boat and floors the power away from the ramp - HUGE takeoff in the 4knot zone just as Waterways comes round the point. #Blue flashing light on Waterways boat and the bloke is pulled over. #You could have heard the roar and the cheers a mile away from all the onlookers at the ramp.

devocean
04-02-2005, 11:06 AM
Look if any of you guys have seen me reverse you would absolutely crack up.

Mick
04-02-2005, 11:22 AM
Crack up devo? More like hide in shame! Just kiddin mate.

redlipper
04-02-2005, 03:58 PM
Here is something a couple of you married blokes might relate to and probably have thought about doing after a marital tiff but thought better of it. Yes it does relate to unfortunate boat ramp mishaps.
From 1989 to 2000 I was manager of 1770 camping grounds and because of the distance and dirt roads I saw all sorts of trailer/boat misfortune when they finally arrived ready to hit the drink [In more ways than one]
In 1991 Mr X had a blue with Mrs X in Brisbane and about 7pm decided to hitch his beloved 18 footer behind the 4be and P off somewhere he didn't have to listen to her telling him to hitch up and P off.
It was 3 in the morning and my wife and I were woken in our residence near the 1770 campground entrance by an awful scraping noise that was getting louder and louder.
Mr X was approaching the camground entrance with his 18 footer on behind and had blown 2 out of the four tyres on his tandem on the dirt into Agnes/1770 but because of his annebriated state, had just kept driving his 80 series turbo determined to reach 1770. This is no BS!
I quickly got him off the camground road to avoid waking any more campers and told him to sleep it off.
The spring hangers were almost worn to nothing we discovered in daylight from dragging on the road, and what was more astounding was about lunchtime when Mr X had recovered enough he towed the wrecked trailer to the boat ramp and launched the boat where it promptly sank....
Four of the rollers had disintegrated from the jarring on the dirt road and punched holes in the hull.
By the way guys as Agnes Jack will tell you the dirts gone now...blacktop all the way. Used to be 4 trailer boats at 1770 ramp in those days and one was always mine on a good day.

Needmorerum
04-02-2005, 04:40 PM
I thought this was funny, nothing went wrong but it still bought a smile to my face.
When I take the boat out with my two young daughters and the wife is working, she helps me launch it in the morning, and then comes back in the arvo to help me retrieve it.
One afternoon, I rang her from the harbour and she came down and backed the trailer down the ramp, when she got it in the water I drove up to the ramp and drove the boat straight onto the trailer, she hopped out and put the winch on it and tightened it up. I jump out and put the chain on, drive up the ramp and prepare to drive home.
A bunch of blokes were sitting up on the balcony of the Yacht Club cheering and wolf whistling at how she had backed the trailer down so straight. All of them yelling out how they wish their wives could do it to. We had a chuckle and drove off.
Little did all these guys know, I was actually sitting just off the ramp with the handheld UHF talking to her in the car, saying... left hand down, right hand down and so on.
Without help she couldn't back a trailer into the side of a house.

Corry

nonibbles
04-02-2005, 05:40 PM
Well, not really at the boat ramp but boat retrieval story all the same...
Just got home from hot arvo fishin, tired, tired grumpy etc. Wife & kid wanted to go as soon as the fish turned up. Anyway, they leave in her car and I stay to secure the trailer dump the rubbish all the standard routine but on my own - no big deal. I'll deal with the canopy when I get her home. Back the boat down the driveway and under the carport then crunch :'( one ripped canopy and mangled struts. Not happy Jan!

GrahamW
05-02-2005, 09:54 AM
Gunna,
I smiled too when I finally manged to get back into my boat, but I did have a "what a crap way to die" thought before I caught it... which I did not because my real name is Ian Thorpe but because I had knocked the speed down on the electric when I had the first hook up & a belting wind was pushing directly against the boat's direction so even a few minutes of one handed breast stroke got me there. I was also grateful to a local fisho (the only other boat on the water) who came over to my distress wave & not only made sure I was safe back in the boat but also drove off & rounded up my plastic sandals & hat & brought them back to me. He was fishing with his 2 young kids & I think they thought it was the strangest thing they had ever seen. The final good news was that both fish were still 'on' & I was able to bring both in.
Graham

Romney
13-02-2005, 01:35 PM
Many years ago a couple of old diggers got a skinful at the Albany Creek Tavern and decided at closing time that a fishing trip to Bribie Island was just what they needed. Once at the ramp they decided they were both too drunk to reverse the trailer so they unhitched it and wheeled it down the ramp. After they had travelled a few K's up the passage they started wondering why the boat was so slow.

Yep, you guessed it, they'd fogotten to take the boat off the trailer and it was still under the boat!

hercules
13-02-2005, 04:57 PM
Have done many stupid things at the ramp as well on the water . As we all like to have a laugh at others it still brings a smile to my face recalling some friends stuper human achievements ;D
A mate rebuilt an old merc himself , tried it at home , then off to the ramp . Left the muffs on and cooked the motor . same bloke used to have an auxiliary motor, dropped that in the broadwater , never to be seen again :'(
Another mate dropped his cairns custom craft on the kennedy drv ramp a few years back ,its funny how the brain isn't quite in gear at 4am :)
I use kennedy drv also and can testify to the usual bungs out scenario, although i remembered 5 mile out and hastily replaced them . The old vc didn't plane to well that day :)
Also reversed into one of those green cca posts in the dark mangling trailer light , driven up the ramp with motor down (the skeg needed sharpening on the conc :-[ ) , and last summer , i pulled up on the sand and went to get the trailer , as often is the case the dive boat pulls up and blocks the ramp for 15 minutes . Finally reverse down only to find the incoming tide has taken my trusty vc up stream . Run up the bank , slice my feet on some oysters and then swim for it. The annoying thing about it was people were standing next to it on the beach and just watched it drift away ::) Iguess it was my turn to entertain the crowd :)

By the way i've also lost three winch handles between tweed and palmy, so if you find one its probably mine ;D

Craig

bungie
13-02-2005, 05:02 PM
Had two mistakes I can think of other than the time I left bungs out, but that was only the once ;D

1/ I had spent a week in Noosa on the river, had a great time, using the western ramp on Gympie terrace. Each time I came back to the ramp I would cruise in, kill the motor, trim it up and then as the boat approached the sand I would jump off the bow and drag it up the beach. Well I had been doing this for 5 or 6 days when the wife wanted to come for a trip. Had a nice afternoon, set the crap pots and had a good time fishing when on the horizon a huge black cloud was forming, so I went to retrieve the pots as the storm hit. It absolutely p!$$ed down. Having no cover on the boat I screamed back to the boat ramp to get the Mrs in the car out of the rain. Rain ? that's a joke it came down so hard I couldn't even see the bank of the river, looking, looking, looking, finally I see the ramp in the deluge, I come flying in, kill the motor, trim it, Get on the bow and jump off as we near the beach. My wife lets out an almighty scream as she sees me disappear out of sight. I had come in at the eastern ramp that has four feet of water right up to the beach and I found the bottom ;D . In the short time that it rained, I had some much water in the hull i needed to bring it up onto the trailer to drain the boat ;D

2/ I spent the day at the Pin on my own as usual, came back in to Horizon Shores and worked my way around to the ramp. As I approached the Jetty I killed the motor and let the boat drift as I moved on to the bow (hmmmm sounds like a common mistake) looped the rope around the cleat, then I stepped onto the jetty, reached down and tied her off to the bollard. Stood up and turned around to see the first loop over the cleat on the boat had slipped off, and there drifted off my pride and joy into the marina. Stripped off to my jocks and took a swim to get her back ;D

Burley_Boy
13-02-2005, 06:27 PM
Why is it quicker to fill the boat with no bungs than to drain it????
My passesngers asked what the sound was once I'd parked the trailer....blub blub blub..

Also I must be a local because I've walked every bloody sandbank in the broadwater, and usually with the boat full of camping gear and kids...!