You Know Your A Redneck When

[Big_Kev]

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every
manoeuvre, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of
trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone
there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the
out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in
place,

WAS THE TRAILER!

[nisrol]

Hmmmmmmm inventive saves reloading at the ramp you just hitch up and go ( have to try that one day might save several minutes on the ramp ), ::)
always looking for ways to speed up my retreaval . ;D

cheers andy

[adriancorrea]

Where did ya get that one from Kev
I heard about it about 2 year ago from steve demon
LOL

Tight Lines
Adrian

[ba229]

"you know your a redneck when..."

You play banjo and suck Apple sauce through a straw will rocking in your chair on the verandah.

[Big_unit]

"you know your a redneck when..."

You play banjo and suck Apple sauce through a straw will rocking in your chair on the verandah.


at your shack in Gumpie. :P :P :P

[aussiebasser]

You know you're a Redneck when.............................
your bass boat's worth more than your pick-up, which is worth more than the trailer you live in!!

[tideline_two]

you know your a redneck when you start checking out aussie fishing sights cause the cold winter weather has the fish totaly knocked off the bite and the closest you've ever been to austraila is atlanta ga.

[Gazza]

When you don't use a ruler :D

[DR]

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip "on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000.00 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

And last, but not least . .

31. Someone tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!

[ba229]

I am guilty of 2,10,15,22,25 and 26.

Ma? Bring me the shot gun.

[swoffa]

Number 32

[dasher]

A redneck garage!!!!!

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."


As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.

Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray.

It ain't rigged ----- my wife won twice last week !

::) ;D ;D

[Fishin_Dan]

You know you're a redneck when...

You've got more whitegoods in your front yard than in your laundry ;D

[Gazza]

You DON'T own one of these.... [smiley=cowboy.gif]

[tshort]

When your misses has no jewellery but your pig, Emi-Lou wears a diamonte collar and sits beside you on that verandah in -----.

[bugman]

You guys have nothing on these guys

http://www.mytrailerpark.com/ ;D

[ba229]

I think i had that guy with the helmet on as my avatar at one stage. lol he was funny looking then, and still is hahahahahahahahahah

[baldyhead]

I know I'm a Redneck....when I wake up every morning????

[Big_Kev]

You know you are a REDNECK when you go to a family reunion to find yourself a wife.

[Gazza]

Nahh..Cascade drinkers :-X

or maybe some other brand [smiley=behead.gif]

[Dug]

mytrailerpark.com that is an evil site!

it reminds me of living in Rockhampton ;D

[agnes_jack]

You know your a redneck when someone accuses you of lying thru your tooth!
Or when you unload the ute by reversing and slamming the brakes on!


Regards, Tony

[aussiebasser]

You know your missus is a Redneck when she wears a top that's strapless with a bra that isn't!!!!

[nisrol]

Hmmmmmmm cinda reminds me of a cross between the beverly hillbillys and ma & pa kettle . AND ONE CARAVAN PARK I DON'T WISH TO STAY AT. [smiley=hammer.gif] [smiley=stop.gif] [smiley=rifle.gif] [smiley=stupid.gif] [smiley=oops.gif] LLO

cheers andy

[DICER]

when you have a beer in one hand and you let off firework rockets towards your neighbors house in the other

DICER

BTW, I have an electric fly swatter

[Zeeke]

i think you fellas need to see the movie that is airing on paytv currently called "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" with Jeff Foxworthy and 3 other redneck comedians.. bloody brilliant movie.. its all standup comedy.. and you'll laugh from the start to the end.. and they even do a bit inside a Bass Pro shop.. and all i can is.. its HUGE

Tim

[NQCairns]

You know you are a redneck when a goverment body can steal free territory from current and future populations useing only the best sponsored luncheon, coffeshop and chardonay party logic to achieve it. #:-X nq

[adrian]

you know your a redneck when you mow the and find the boat that you reported stolen 5 years ago

anzac

[agnes_jack]

Hey Tim
Got any "stinkbait"
My sister is covered in moles!!!!!!!!

Hehehehe ;D

[agnes_jack]

You might be a redneck.... when you know which day to celebrate groundhog day.


Regards, Tony ;)