How do you feel?

[bidkev]

How do you feel when you see the reports and you ain't been able to get out yourself, 'cause your deckie is working or sleeping off?

I'm having major dramas atm with the deckie as she works shifts as a a clinical nurse. She fills in for management and I know she'd do a wonderful job as a Nursing Unit Manager but she loves the "hands on" nursing which is shifts. She's refused several "head hunts" which would result in a Monday to friday 9 till 5 and I keep telling her that she doesn't need to run her arse ragged on a ward all day/night but she refuses to admit that she's getting older or that our lifestyle would be so much better if she could spend the weekends with me and the kids all fishing together

Shifts have their compensation (particularly when you're young) ;) in that at least you get time to yourselves when the kids are at school, but I feel that somehow we're missing out...............Heath's video of his nipper catching, brought this home to me real hard.

She loves her job and I know that the ward would be poorer without her "hands on" approach, especially considering that she is the preceptor for new nurses to the ward, and I know that "quality of life" must also include job satisfation, but when and how do you intimate/prove that fishing is more important than work IYKWIM?

Anyone else with similar problems? How do you cope with them or do you just accept that some things just have to be??...............fishing ain't the be all and end all?

kev........just feeling like talking things through, 'cause she's just started 3 night shifts and it seems I've missed a chance to be offshore this weekend.

[fish_outta_water]

hi kingtin
fishing ain't the be all and end all? ...... :o how very dare you :-? im surprised at you kingtin ;D
as someone who migrates with the fish each year id have to disagree , but then maybe id see things different with a missus and kids and responsibilties
its always good to have the choice , dont think our grandfolks had an option , keep working or starve
tightlines

[Feral]

Dont worry kingtin, it wont be long before the kids are big enough to hold onto the rope at the ramp! then it will all be solved!

Seriously mate, it is so rare for someone to have a job they love, ya gotta just grin and put up with it. The alternative is having your missus out fishing with you, but she will be all whingy and whiny about how she hates her new desk job, which by the way would be all your fault, as she had to give up her "wonderful" job just for you!

[choppa]

kev,,,,,,,,,,i saw the time that you posted this thread first,, and thought the good lady must be at work,,,, ;D ;D

you've got a catch 22 here mate,,, if you force the issue,, your in s#%t,, as feral points out,, and if she sticks at it,, you miss out on quality family time on the water,,,

but i bet the times you do throw the boat in,, it make up for it!!!!!!!!

i noticed though that when i called in a few weeks back she ad some fish on the table for her lunch at work that day,,,,,,,,,

you could always tell her that you've got none left,, and need her to assist in restocking the freezer :D :D :D :D

by the way,, thanks for your input/ideas on the ""secret"" matter,, he postd a report in saltwater yesterday,,,,,,,,,

choppa

[Poodroo]

If she needs to sleep after doing nightshifts then take the other family members out on the water and get another temporary deckie from Ausfish as I am sure there are many who would jump at the opportunity to go out with you. Deckies like myself can't always get out there due to the long list of people who want to go out. Getting quite keen to become a boat owner just so that I can get out to scratch the itch whenever I want to.


Poodroo

[finga64]

One of lifes biggest challenges is to have a job you truely enjoy doing.
Your wife is a very fortunate lady in finding her passion.
Leave it be for the time been and one day, when you least expect it, things change.
Point out to your wife the difference she could make in the admin. role and still may be able to stroll the wards to keep an eye on things.
Get a tinny and take the kids for a throw. Mrs Kev. may appreciate a few hours of R&R during the day (especailly after a week of night shift). You get to spend quality time with the kids, the kids get out into some sunshine...win, win situation.

[el_carpo]

Do you have any good shore fishing spots nearby that you can try? A place you can pop out to for a few hours of fishing? I know lots of people who carry a spare rod and reel and a few lures in the trunk of their car just so they can stop at a lake or river on the way home from work for a quick fishing fix.

The kids would probably enjoy shore fishing as well. Almost all the fishing I did (and still do) is from shore. Never bothered me.

I know it can't compare to getting out in the boat for a weekend, but it beats nothing.

[theoldlegend]

Kev,

You're fortunate to have a wife that takes pride in her work and obviously cares for people so much that she prefers the hands on approach. Sure, she could take the other approach and do the 9 to 5 stuff, but that's not in her makeup by the sound of it.

Yeah, at times it's a bummer, but it makes that time together just that little bet more special. Sorry I can't offer much more than that.

Oh, and Choppa, I did notice that little paragraph in italics.

Thanks again,

TOL

[ShaneC]

I have the opposite problem. the wifey doesn't like the rough stuff one bit, but really enjoys going up the river crabbing and fishing, it took me 10 years to turn her!! Maybe its the fact that our little fella loves it so much that makes it enjoyable for both of us. Prob is, work commitments keep me away. It sucks, but at the end of the day bills have to paid and unfortunately my work keeps me a long way from home for most of the year. But, I do get four months holidays a year, so I guess that kinda makes up for it ;)

Still, seeing the reports of the macks starting to arrive in the bay, even though last year we were catching good schoolies in September, still gets the itch up when you know the Spaniards are only a few weeks away. Four weeks til hols... giddy up!!! Maybe then I will get a drive of the new Lux, if the wife hasn't turned into a soccer mum and retired the camry for it!!!

Keep catching them, but leave a couple for me...

Shane

[thehoodedwarriors]

Hey Kingtin,

My other half Brett is happy to be your "fill in" deckie if you need one #- #PM Fat_Chilli for a reference.

We are based as Hattonvale past ipswich but as long as you give him a couple of hours notice he is happy to scrub decks. #;D

Brett is a Mad Keen fisherman but at the moment doesn't have a boat. He is also a Prison Officer so he works shifts but only works 7 days a fortnight.

And! I might add will fish all night and then off to work ... fishing is the be all and end all for Brett.

He has all his own gear (a trunk full!! - Plano 7771 and 7 rod and reel combos). So if you are in need of a deckie at short notice he is happy to oblige.

PM me if you need it

kind regards and may your rod bend often
nichole

[Glenn_Woods]

Hi Kingtin. I have a similar problem. My fishing offsider is also a shift operator like myself. Except his roster "4 on 4 off" and mine is "5 on 4 off 4 on 5 off" Sounds confusing ay :-?. Then you throw the weather in on top :-/and a couple of missus and kids :-[ Some times it's like all the planets have to line up before i can get out :'(. Your lucky that you have a lady who likes fishing. I wish mine did. ;)

Looks like the planets are lining up on Wednesday. :D

Woodsy

[tunaman]

;D ;D ;D

[bidkev]

Sorry about that folks, sounds like I was haveing a whinge but for once, I wasn't ;) ;D

I was just curious to know how things conspire against others having a fish and just how important it was to them, and whether they get jealous when they are "grounded" and see reports from those who have managed to get out fishing.

I had taken a sleeping tablet last night and then didn't go to bed so it all came out a bit garbled.........I suppose the 4 litres of chateau de cardboard box didn't help either........and no, I didn't drink it all.....there's at least a glass left.........or there was until I finished it off 5 minutes ago ;D ;D

I thank those who offered their services as deckies, but it isn't really the fact that I am short of help, but the fact that if the deckie is working then I'm stuck with the kids and a long day offshore is too much for a couple of 'em without the deckie to keep 'em in line ::).

So come on, forget about me and just how important is fishing to you? Do you regret being "tied" by family circumstance..........not to mention the weather ::) Can we put fishing in perspective and open our hearts to explain just *how* important it is to us? Can we be honest and not admit/deny that sometimes we have fleeting regrets about being "tied down"?

Personally, I look forward to the day when the kids are old enough to be left on their own and fishing for me would simply be a matter of waking up, looking at the weather, and saying, "that's it, I'm off".

Don't get me wrong, I love 'em dearly but by fathering later in life, I sometimes think that the fishing life is slipping me by............58 yr old...........optimistically another 10 yrs ahead of me handling a rig that big..........an 80 grand boat..........cost effectively 8 grand a year..........if I get out once a fortnight, and without pulling out a calculator. I reckon she'll stand me at around 308 bucks a trip just to own her. To be honest though, I still thinks it's worth every penny just to see the looks on their faces if they catch a good 'un.........or if I run her hard into the side of a pontoon ;D

kev

[Glenn_Woods]

Mate, I can't wait for my lad to be my anchor boy. He's just turned 6, so it's not to far away. They say people who luv gardening live a long life. Well i recon the same for fishing. And if im right, I should see 100 ;D.


Woodsy

[Scalem]

Kingtin

That's surely a sad circumstance you are describing, and I wish I could offer some advice, but I can't, except to empathize with you. I recently had the same experience when my wife had to go in to work on a Saturday, otherwise payroll adjustments would not have completed, and 1500 staff would not have had their bonuses that were due. This happened on the very day that Ausfishers coordinated the demonstration against exclusion zones in the lead up to elections, and I had to stay home with the kids when I really wanted to be a part of the rally. >:( So I also try and get the wife and kids out on the water, with little success - only the occasional trip in smooth water where they get out and stretch the legs at tipplers. I have recently had 3 saturdays fishing in a row. The weekend in the middle I wanted to be a family time together. I was told I could do anything I wanted to do, so long as it didn't conflict with the kids plans. One had a sleep over planned at our house, the other had a birthday party to go to. But it is not all that bad or melodramatic, Dad just takes a back seat and spends time in other ways but fishing. Life deals some cruel blows!! But we live with it!!

Scalem

[PinHead]

My kids are grown and moved out...but..with having my own business then a lot of time is involved in running it. As you know Kev, wife and I just love being on the water relaxing..fishing is not all that important but time on the water is. We try and make every 2nd weekend available to go out but that does not always work out...I won't put my weekly costs for owning the boat on here..but...it is worth every cent of it...just for the wife and I to have some time together ...I just have to put up wth her digs about me having to finish the painting etc at home..what is wrong with 5 year plans for these projects.

[bidkev]

<snip>
I just have to put up wth her digs about me having to finish the painting etc at home..what is wrong with 5 year plans for these projects.


5 years eh? Gotta keep 'em sweet and rush things I suppose ;D

kev

[-Henno-]

I just read this post and was really impressed with how everybody said such positive things about your missus loving her work etc. I felt sure they would all be saying that fishing was the only thing to consider.

The only thing stopping me fishing at the moment is the stinking wind! We have been grounded by the wind and the fact that we only have a tiny boat so really have to pick our days if we want to go outside even though it is only just outside.

I recently had a really miserable day off and sat around feeling sorry for myself watching too much telly coz I just felt hopeless without being able to wet a line. There's really not much to do in this little town we have just moved to when you are weathered in.

So lately we have been getting out in the local creeks and loving it. Once my missus even suggested a before work fish and she never stops asking when we can go to Awoonga next.

So basically I am blessed. I work with her all day, come home and cook and spend the nights with her and on my days off can think of nothing better than fishing all day with her. The only downside with my wife is there's all this weird stuff in my pantry that I can't read and have no idea whether it's food or cleaning gear!

We don't have kids in the equation yet though and at 41 years old I am nervous about this happening to say the least. I'm just enjoying it while it's happening. If I could get some mud crabs now life would be complete.

Henno
aka Mark

[JEWIENEWIE]

Mate i guess we all have our problems. I had been waiting patiently for my new boat to arrive and it happened to be ready just as my wife gave birth to our first baby. I was a mix of emotions at the time, completely blown away by the birth of my first child, what an awesome experience, but knew it would definately cut in to my fishing time and with a brande new rig sitting in the shed it was very difficult to come to terms with.
I managed to sneak out a few times but did feel quite guilty abot me out fishing, and the missus back at home with the bub.
During this time i was targeting jew fish so i would check moon phases, tides etc and mark it on the calender on which days or nights of the month i would head out as to make my missus aware of my intentions, but pretty much on every date that was right to go, something would come up and alas no fishing was done. I started to get really pissed off with the situation until i spilt my guts to a mate who listened intently. He turned around to me and said to really think about what i am complaining about.
I have a new boat, I have a healthy new baby girl and a wife who loves me deeply, i have a business which is mine and i love doing.
This made me pull my head in pretty quik.
There are heaps of crew out there who are in jobs they hate, partners who cheat on them, children with problems and cant afford to put food on the table so if other fishos on this site have same problems as us i think we are all doing ok.
Just remember that next time you are out there with your family or by yourself, just how truly lucky we are to live in this country, have the options and opportunities that we do, and enjoy what we are doing to its fullest.
My baby girl is now one year old and now that she fits into a life jacket, the bub and the missus loves a night fish in the river hunting jew. She loves the boat and falls asleep everytime to the slow purr of the motor when under way. Nothing more satisfying than fighting a jewie at night in the river with the missus rerady with the gaff and the bub asleep up front. ;D
Jewie

[gunnabuild1]

Kingtin I had something to say but then I read Jewienewies post and I forgot what it was.
Good Luck and best wishes to all and their loved ones.
Seasons Greetings

[Brett1907]

My wife is a psychologist and has to work late a few times a week. We also have a 3yo & 12wk old I look after those nights and a few mornings when shegoes in early. I think we are very lucky, we both are very motivated and enjoy our jobs. Ourkids are healthy and happy (Paige, the eldest LOVES day care) and we both love playing with them.

The most fishing I get is a half hour here or there when work permits. Which is great and I'm not complaining, but now I rarely get to go at night. There is too muchgoing on with the missus working and the two kids to get bathed, fed and into bed. Bythe time thats done we may get an hour to spend together as we both get up around 4 - 5am dependignon who is starting early and who is getting the kids up.

Paige is stilltalking about fishing with daddy at easter (she had no hook but laved it) so I am taking her fishing in a couple of weeks. A mate also has a 3yo boy so we will take the kids out to 'the hole' and try to get them as hooked as we are.

As for the nightwatchman,she likes boats almost as much as me (but she prefers the more comfortable type). So I am off to the inlaws this morning to get some time on the riv sports cruiser so we can start taking that out ourselves. That way when I can buy a boat she might let me set it up predominantly for fishing as we have her parents boat for luxury cruising and weekenders.

Love my wife, my kids and fishing. Just can't wait tillthe boy is old enough to combine all three.

Brett

[PinHead]

My wife is a psychologist and has to work late a few times a week. #We also have a 3yo & 12wk old I look after those nights and a few mornings when shegoes in early. #I think we are very lucky, we both are very motivated and enjoy our jobs. #Ourkids are healthy and happy (Paige, the eldest LOVES day care) and we both love playing with them.

The most fishing I get is a half hour here or there when work permits. #Which is great and I'm not complaining, but now I rarely get to go at night. #There is too muchgoing on with the missus working and the two kids to get bathed, fed and into bed. #Bythe time thats done we may get an hour to spend together as we both get up around 4 - 5am dependignon who is starting early and who is getting the kids up.

Paige is stilltalking about fishing with daddy at easter (she had no hook but laved it) so I am taking her fishing in a couple of weeks. #A mate also has a 3yo boy so we will take the kids out to 'the hole' and try to get them as hooked as we are.

As for the nightwatchman,she likes boats almost as much as me (but she prefers the more comfortable type). #So I am off to the inlaws this morning to get some time on the riv sports cruiser so we can start taking that out ourselves. #That way when I can buy a boat she might let me set it up predominantly for fishing as we have her parents boat for luxury cruising and weekenders.

Love my wife, my kids and fishing. Just can't wait tillthe boy is old enough to combine all three.

Brett

Not another bloody cruiser jockey..more wash and speeding boats to contend with...don't do it..LOL

Now Brett..any man that has the urge to put up 10000 xmas lights definitely needs a psychologist for a spouse..u may be an ongoing study for her...write a thesis on the propensity of clark griswold types and xmas lights.

[Phil-Fishbin]

now I'm not Yoda ::), and I dont have a missus and rugrat ,,yet anyway , so, er, um,, I should probably cancel my next smart ar$ed remark disguised crudely as advise as I know it will offend some of the ball and chained members of this forum.. :-X ;)
My future wife will own a pub up north and I will live on the gold coast working as a field product tester for a large sounder company ,so I can see myself running into similar dilemas,,

Youve given me something to think about.

[Brett1907]

PinHead, the cruiser has 4 sets oficicle lights and a blow up santa on the bow for christmas!!!LOL :) :) ;D ;D

Did well enough this morning to get to go out ourselves. It may be a cruiser brigade, but he got a bait board with rod holders made upfor the duckboard. It'll do untill I get a fishing boat.

Meanwhile I'll be drinking my wifes dangerously potent starwberry daquiris while everyone else is drinking flat beer cause it got too shook up in the tinny...LOL. Even my mates will put the beer/rum/bourbon down for her daquiris, they'll kill ya!! ;D

Brett

[PinHead]

PinHead, the cruiser has 4 sets oficicle lights and a blow up santa on the bow for christmas!!!LOL :) :) ;D ;D

Did well enough this morning to get to go out ourselves. #It may be a cruiser brigade, but he got a bait board with rod holders made upfor the duckboard. #It'll do untill I get a fishing boat.

Meanwhile I'll be drinking my wifes dangerously potent starwberry daquiris while everyone else is drinking flat beer cause it got too shook up in the tinny...LOL. #Even my mates will put the beer/rum/bourbon down for her daquiris, they'll kill ya!! ;D

Brett

where do we meet up for the daquiris??? I have the white thongs for on a cruiser.

[Brett1907]

I'll have to take the missus out first (it is her families boat), then we'll see what we can do. The more the merrier!!

Brett

[shayned]

Bloody hell, Pinhead in a thong :o :o :o that really is taking the joining the yuppie/jetset/south of france/cruiser owning thing too far. ;D ;D For gods sake what ever you do don't get it wet. :)

[Brett1907]

WHITE THONGS FOR EVERYONE!!!

Now that would be a white christmass in Australia!!LOL

;)

Brett

[roz]

Shame on you Kev!!!

Mrs K.Tin sounds like a one in a million.

I must admit I've had the same whinge from time to time.... no deckie.

I know your boat is a lot bigger than mine, but have you ever considered just getting out there by yourself?? I don't often take my boat out by myself, but when I do, I thoroughly enjoy the peace and quiet.

r.

[bidkev]

Shame on you Kev!!!

Mrs K.Tin sounds like a one in a million.

I must admit I've had the same whinge from time to time.... no deckie.

I know your boat is a lot bigger than mine, but have you ever considered just getting out there by yourself?? I don't often take my boat out by myself, but when I do, I thoroughly enjoy the peace and quiet.

r.


Sorry about that Roz................I was having a "feeling sorry for myself" moment ::) ;D

Yeah, been out a couple of times on my own when the deckie had something else on, but midweek is the problem as I have to do school runs if she's working.

I'm just longing for the time when she's had enough of shifts and the whole family can be together (fish together) at weekends. The upside is that if she's off during the week we can at least put the tinny in the Pine and have a few hours alone before the kids come back from school. The downside is that she then isn't home at weekends when the kids are. I was just wondering about other folks' positions with regards to shift work

I'm blessed (I suppose) in that the deckie likes to fish with me, but also doesn't mind me going it alone or with someone else if she isn't in the mood. I know some guys whose wives hate them fishing...........they don't want to fish but get peeved if their husbands want to. One of my older boys came over a couple of years back. I hadn't seen him for 10 yrs and we went out in the bay. I got him onto a couple of bronzies and big shovellies and he loved it. When we got back his missus had a face like a cows arse :-X She berated him saying, " I didn't come half way round the world for you to piss off with yer dad and leave me alone with the kids". Still don't know if she had a point but I thought she would have given him a bit of leeway seeing as we hadn't seen each other for so long. :-/ :-/ She's buggered off and left him with the kids now and hopefully he'll get out here soon.

Some nice responses in this thread and I appreciate it 'em. It's nice to know that some wives are understanding of the need for their blokes to fish, and it's also nice to see that some blokes appreciate the wives POV when they don't want to have their hubbies fishing all the time.

kev