Funniest things yer Dad ever did!

[odes20]

Where to start! My old man really is so funny and has done, and has said, some of the funniest things ever. Just thought it might be a laugh to whack some stories up here and swap notes.

here Goes.... He loved using his old .22 with ratshot. And any dog in the region of our neibourhood found that out. Saw one strain himself straight thu the back steps at full speed to get under the house under the impetus of a burning arse load of ratshot, for being in our back yard one night!!;D:D;D;D

But one night dad hammered an unsuspecting canine with lead as it wandered down thru our carport in the dark of night after sojourning near the chook pen.
We had a mate called Greg out from Brisbane at the time and he had a brand new Toyota Celica, in fact it was the first Celica that came out. I think we were about 17 at the time. Anyway when dad hurried this mut from the yard he sprayed the rear of Gregs car with the rat shot as well.!
The next day when Greg saw all these chips in his purple metallic paintwork, he was asking how on earth it could have happened? Dad went to great lengths to ask him what roads he travelled on from Brisbane to Chinchilla, trying to convince Greg he had a lot of stone chips from driving on gravel roads!

me and my twin brother Flatzie were to scared at the time to say what we both knew had really happened. Ha !;D;D;D

[ubar]

When i lent the .22 on a electric fence and told him it was not on and could he pass it to me..i was 13 and the old man grabbed it and got zapped..he weeenntt offff and kicked my arse lol..i was paying him back for when he told me to run across a paddock with my eyes shut , so i did and got tangled up in electric goose wire man it hurt 5 times i got zapped. He would also cock a old pellet gun he had and then push it into fresh cowpoo and shoot u with it..

[Chamelion]

EDIT: Shooting dogs is idiotic.. I guess I'm not 'country' enough to understand such mentality. ::)

[Haji-Baba]

Morning Odes 20. Don't think I will get involved in this one, too many yarns to relatre.

My father was born in Chinchilla and some of the tales he told were magic.

Like the time he dunked his cornsack fish full of yellowbelly and cod and jew in the river to keep cool.
Came back a little later, all gone, a water rat had eaten the arse out of his bag.

I know, I know, he should have known.

The time when we were fishing up Charleys Creek at "The Black Bore" and 3 or 4 of us kids were supposed to be going to sleep in the back of the old "Marquette Ute."
Something creeping around in the gum trees above us and after a lot of hollering Ben Hickey came up, fired a shot and a flying possumn hit the old man fair in the middle of the back.
He jumped straight into the creek, you have to realise we were from the brigalow country where there were very few possums.

Electric fences, big pig feeding quietly in the open, dad quietly places a length of 1/2 inch windmill rodding on the live wire, remember he is in gum boots, touches the pig, it explodes and so did dad. I have no idea who got the biggest fright, me, dad or the pig.
It was funny at the time.

I shall get back to this Odes, a bit crook now.

Have Fun Haji-Baba.

[benji64]

my old man work in the railways and was classed in cloncurry of all places .i remember him telling me about a mate and him deided to go fishing after a few at the local . scouting round the quarters they secured a few small frogs top bait for yellowbelly appperently. securing frog on hooks out they went ,after quite a few more beers they wondered why they werent catching fish !on goes the torch and to there surprise both frogs sitting happily on the cork floats nice and dry and safe from fish,they got the dorethies and went home . cheers

[thelump]

My old man thought he would remove a stump from beside our driveway one weekend. He was chopping away at the roots and pushing and pulling this thing for hours with no joy. As we lived on a reasonably step block he reverses the old HR holden up the driveway and ties a rope to the towbar and then around the stump. Jumps in the car and releases the handbrake to put a bit of weight on the stump and yells to ask me if it was moving. "A little bit. It is leaning a bit now". So out he hops and gets the axe and starts hacking away at the last pesky root. Gets through the root and the stump tilts over on the ground with the rope sliding off at the same time. Guess who forgot to re apply the handbrake after putting strain on the rope? Well off the HR goes sailing down the driveway toward the shed with the old man in full flight behind it trying to stand on the rope. That was the funniest bit, him trying to stand on a rope flying down the driveway attached to a HR. Glad he didnt get it or it may not have been as funny a sight. Anyway the HR demolished a wardrobe at the back of the shed that the old man had his fishing stuff in and poked its nose out the back of the shed by a foot or so. I was only a very young kid at the time but I remember it like it were yesterday.

[ubar]

Chamelion its nothing to do with with being country its understanding ammo type...He used Ratshot wich is a good round for Rats and will most likely give a dog a good "BUGGER OFF", ratshot is a good little round for very small vermin...So before you call something idiotic check your facts or be like greens and dont ..Love the stories boys and everytime i read one it brings up another storie in my head of what the old man done when i was a kid. good memories.

[odes20]

Its funny alright! you should have been there!! :) Its like the other reply said, it just a bugger off round. Saw a wild cat shot with a 410 recently,( right from the hip of an old farmer) I was amazed !it never moved a muscle afterwoods. Glad Dad didnt have one of them:)


EDIT: Shooting dogs is idiotic.. I guess I'm not 'country' enough to understand such mentality. ::)

[Dicktracey]

The old man spent a few hrs welding a patch in the floor of his tipper one day, didn't realize until later that night one of his Jatz Crackers had been poking out the leg of his Stubbies to catch the show.
It honestly looked like someone had masked up one of his nut's and sprayed it fire engine Red.
If he could of caught me I would of got a towling for laughing at him ;)
Dick

[odes20]

my old man work in the railways and was classed in cloncurry of all places .i remember him telling me about a mate and him deided to go fishing after a few at the local . scouting round the quarters they secured a few small frogs top bait for yellowbelly appperently. securing frog on hooks out they went ,after quite a few more beers they wondered why they werent catching fish !on goes the torch and to there surprise both frogs sitting happily on the cork floats nice and dry and safe from fish,they got the dorethies and went home . cheers

So whats the dorethies!!! :)

[odes20]

Hey old mate Get well soon and stay in touch.


Morning Odes 20. Don't think I will get involved in this one, too many yarns to relatre.

My father was born in Chinchilla and some of the tales he told were magic.

Like the time he dunked his cornsack fish full of yellowbelly and cod and jew in the river to keep cool.
Came back a little later, all gone, a water rat had eaten the arse out of his bag.

I know, I know, he should have known.

The time when we were fishing up Charleys Creek at "The Black Bore" and 3 or 4 of us kids were supposed to be going to sleep in the back of the old "Marquette Ute."
Something creeping around in the gum trees above us and after a lot of hollering Ben Hickey came up, fired a shot and a flying possumn hit the old man fair in the middle of the back.
He jumped straight into the creek, you have to realise we were from the brigalow country where there were very few possums.

Electric fences, big pig feeding quietly in the open, dad quietly places a length of 1/2 inch windmill rodding on the live wire, remember he is in gum boots, touches the pig, it explodes and so did dad. I have no idea who got the biggest fright, me, dad or the pig.
It was funny at the time.

I shall get back to this Odes, a bit crook now.

Have Fun Haji-Baba.

[Haji-Baba]

Dorethiedicks sh!!ts.
Haji-Baba

[ubar]

lol dicktracy...cant stop laughing

[Heath]

Oooooh Where do I start!

Ok, the first one I remember is when the ol' boy made a double male 240v powercord. It was made so he could use a "special" spot light he made when fixing the shower. Anyway, it was New Years Eve and the grass was nice and dewy & the "special" light was mounted on the clothes line to light up the back yard. It got moved some how so the ol' man goes out to get rid of the light. Must have had a few burbs and forgot about the double ended male powercord. He pulls it out of the light and starts dancing round the back yard. Everyone is laughing and cheering him on, before he manages to unhook himself and fall to the ground, much to the pleasure and huge applause of all the party goers. It's only then I realise his radical break dancing moves was actually him being fried in front of everyone. I race over & help him up. He was a bit dusty after that, but none the worse for wear. I promptly destroyed the "special" cord and the "special" light.

The next one is while fishing my brother inlaw hooks a nice kingy and its at the boat ready to gaff. A bit of a botched shot from the old man hits the fish mid rift. As its lifted into the boat it flicks its head and the top hook of the snell rig lodges in his finger. So we have a 15kg YTK going nuts on a gaff with the top hook in the ol mans finger. A lot of yelling and swearing before I manage to get the cutters and cut the hook off, leaving the fish on the deck. A bit of surgery and the hook is safely removed so we can continue fishing.

While cast netting getting bait he catches a bloody longtom. Getting it out, he grabs it down towards the tail and the thing promptly whips round and starts chewing on his arm, starting from his wrist towards his elbow. Can only imagine what the passerbys thought seeing this fella get chomped by a fish.

After comming back in to the Sundale bridge ramp in the middle of winter we are winching the boat on, with the ol' man pushing the boat off the middle pontoon by the bow rail. Anyway he is walking up with the boat, all the while keeping a steady grip on the bow rail until he is passed the point of no return with him on his tippy toes on the pontoon and holding on for dear life to the bow rail. Before I can get to him he is in the drink. Soaked to the bone with a woolen jumper, trackies and his uggies. My young bloke kills himself laughing at poor ol Pop in the drink.

He'll read this and get up me...LOL.... all special memories stored for all time.

[flatzie]

Cant help wade in here!
Out at chinchilla yrs ago, there was a big storm coming in from the south west, "If she swings around we'll cop it Dad says, and it looks like hail in it!"
So its out in the driveway trying to get cars under cover.
My younger brothers Cortina was on the drive and it was a bit like the Castle, you know, have to shift the Gemini, to move the Torana to get the Cortina out, while the wind is blowing up!
Dad jumps in my brother car and revs the heck out of it with the clutch in, all the while trying to change gears, only trouble he is trying to change gears with the flicker arm on the column, rather than noticing the four speed shift on the console. All the while hes yelling and screaming at the car and why it wont go in reverse! By the time we got there, the flicker arm was just hangin by a piece of wire from the column, he totally wrecked it. My brother just moved the gear control into reverse and we got him mobile. Took him ages to cool down after that one Hahahah!

[finga]

He sired me.
Woops.....the thread is funniest thing dad did. Siring me was the stupidest thing he did.

Funniest (thing to watch).....mmmmm....let me think.....I know.....getting tangled up in the electric fence with his whipper snipper strapped to him.
The cutting head wrapped around the electric fence and he couldn't get the cutting head untangled from the fence nor could he get the brush cutter out of the harness.
And then there was the time in the old Inter 1310 coming down the range at Tabulum and he used to give us kids a kick by turning the ignition off and coasted for ages and we'd wait until we saw some roos on the side of the road and then when he turned the ignition back on the old Inter would backfire and it'll scare the crap out of the roos.
It was a good joke until the muffler blew off.

[Haji-Baba]

Yeah, heading down the river about 1952, Dad me and two brothers to stir up the local pig population.

First job, get some fire wood together, put the billy on, a little later everybody settled down to corned beef sandwiches and bang up goes the fire, someone had dropped a couple of live rounds in the fire, probably from an open top shirt pocket.

Result, fire everywhere, tucker covered with ashes and the old man doing a war dance.

I have no idea what he said but you can guarantee it would not be printable.

I think he was even more annoyed when he found out some one had left his horse hair mattress at home and we had to then make him up a bed of Belah leaves to sleep on.

Nice and soft.

Have fun Haji-Baba

[odes20]

Another funny event was when we went to Condamine fishing one Fridy night in spring, and this big storm comes up, and before we could do anything really it just belts down. We were down on the river and had to walk thru the pouring rain back to the car, all the time knowing it was parked under a coolabah tree on black soil, and about 1 km from gravel! Not good. Anyway we get the old XT Falcon wagon going and get a bit of headway all be it sliding out of control all the time. Then Dad seems to get her bogged, so brother and I get out and push, get covered in mud. We are sneaking along gaining ground ever slowly thru the mud.

The car spins to a holt so Dad reverses up a bit to have another run and we try to push, Dad revs the guts out of the falcon, but no movement. Revs reves , thought the motor would fly apart, till we realise there's no mud flying out the back in this process. Try to tell Dad who thinks we're now completely bogged, to put the car in gear, but he won't listen, he's just panicking that were bogged. Was t till he finally got out of the car that we convince him he never had the car in gear! Gets in puts car in gear, and off we go!

Got home ok with a lot of laughs at the old man.

[sooty]

Back about 20 years age a mate and I would take our old fellas out to the Condermine for a weekend, they would not even see the water let alone drink any.
Beer and Rum were the focus for the weekend. :-?
One trip in winter one of the old fellas had a call of nature (number 2) just after dark and a quite few beers plus rums.
Off he toddles in the overalls to answer the call, roll in one hand and a beer in the other.
Comes back a while later much relieved, sits down and says " Who Farted That STINKS" :-[

No one owned up and the smell persisted :-X

Smell was tracked down to the back of Overalls ;D;D

Oldie didn't pull them down far enough and bought a PARCEL back to camp ::)::)::)::)
True Story, often repeated when Jack was around to wear the brunt

[wayno60]

Back in the 60's the old man work as a fitter and turner with about a dozen guys. There was one who would alway just duck around the back of the shed for a quick pee instead of the loo like every one else. so one day, all the guys were in on it, they clamped the earth of one of the welders to the rear tin wall of the shed. waited for to disapear then hit the back wall with the electrode......funny how he never did it agan...

[Haji-Baba]

A bit off topic but in response to Finga and the old Inter, I was poking around the back of Glenmorgan During flood time on a Motorbike.

Pretty heavy going and had the old Ariel retarded a bit as I came into a cottage along the road.

Backfiring a fair bit and just in time to see the cockie trying to control a horse being trained to the Sulky. He hoped to go to town for tucker in the sulky.

He was walking along side the sulky and managed to pacify the horse before it bolted.

I didn't know the man at all but he able to tell me where I had come from and all my past history in one breath.

Memories Haji-Baba