Funny Fishing trips. Have you had em??

[rabbi]

Hi Guys,
Just looking at Funchys' thread about his humourous fishing near miss with a flathead in a yak.

I always seem to be in the mix with weird & funny events that occur whilst out fishing. I think its genetic::)

I had an experience years back with an uncle I went fishing with at Wells Crossing near Ashford in his tinny and he caught a big yella on a lure. He put it between his jean covered legs to hold onto it while he removed the treble.(because it was too slippery,apparently).
The fish gave a good kick and as it fell the loose treble on the lure embedded itself into the crutch of his jeans and hooked right through into his Santa Sack:'(, if you get my drift.
The treble had hooked about 6mm of skin and went right through and the point had come back out of his pants and effectively pinned him to his jeans.

I removed the yella and he then realised he was hooked in a vital area but he couldnt get his pants down because he was hooked firmly to his pants.
I tried not to snicker or break out laughing for my own sake as he was a big solid man without a sense of humour (at the time anyway).

I said , you might have to go to a hospital, to which he replied "aint gonna happen"

Anyway we went back to the bank and he was looking like a cowboy that just got off his horse and fell into a tackle box...! Words cannot describe this scene;D

He managed to break the point of the hook with a pair of pliers and gingerly removed it and surveyed the damage. At this stage he seemed to be walking fairly close to normal again.
This incident was never brought up much again, except at regular family gatherings, and social outings;D;D;D.

Have you got a funny story ??
Cheers, steve.

[sandbankmagnet]

Oh owww... that's a classic.

I was on a houseboat up the sandy straits with my wife about 12 years ago. Thought I'd go and pump some yabbies on a nearby bank at Gary's Anchorage. Wife was fishing out the back of the houseboat. I landed the tinny on the bank and went to step out. Very soft mud. My leg went up to my thigh in it. The other leg was still in the boat, but on the side. I was straddling the boat. I couldn't get back in the tinny without flipping it. I didn't want to send the other leg into the mud. A bit of current flowing to add to the humour. It took me a good 5 minutes I reckon to work out how to lie my body down the side of the boat and roll myself back in. During this time, my wife caught a whiting and gleefully asked me to come and unhook it.... I remember being very happy to be back on that houseboat. Looking back now I know I should have just spun it round and got in over the transom,, but you don't think straight in those situations.

[bf90]

About 12 years ago I had a 12 ft tinnie with a 40 hp tiller johnno on it I was near the power lines out from the logan river and I was casting a net for some bait for me and my 5 year old boy i left the donk ticking over in neutral while I was casting trouble is the blasted cord came off my hand when I threw the net in and I went in straight after it keys wallet phone and all I managed to grab the cord but the water was about 12 ft deep and the bloody net wanted to drag me under mean while me little son is drifting away from me cause of the wind and I didnt want to drop my new net as calm as I could I told him to put the motor in reverse and come back to me with the boat lucky I had shown him from an early age how to change the gears and steer the boat it took him about a minute to get back to me as I said to him dont twist the throttle just steer the boat the little bugger even put the donk in neutral when he got to me in hind sight I should have said bugger the net and dragged the anchor for it thems were the days when I was young and bloody stupid now I am just older and still stupid. the little bloke is 17 now and is 4 inches taller than me but he still cant catch fish like his old man :)

[ddobson]

Fuuuuny as boyz. I got a heap but the funny ones other than seeing my plate drift off about 10 metres off the ramp and swimming out to it. This story is about my mate and my old tinny. I just got it serviced and it used to take 3 to 5 times to pull start but this time i come back from parking ute to see him doing donuts at welly ramp and yelling out each time he faces me as he pull started it standing at back and it jumped into gear after first pull. I stood there thinking how did he get into this mess and how did he get to the back of the boat with his legs wrapped around the prop without loosing them but we finally stopped it and went fishing. I will never forget the sound of the skeg hitting the concrete ramp.

Oh and another quick 1. A mate was flat strap at redcliff with tinny and 25 4 stroke and i said lets fish here as the sounder showed fish and after hitting a sand bank at full speed we found out the sounder was on demo (we lived to talk about it) Cheers all DD.....

[rabbi]

Hehe, I know of the odd person that has left their sounder on demo mode and wondered why they couldnt catch at least one of the many fish showing;D

Got another one for you.

A number of years back I was fishing for jew on the wall and had some big gear for jew and a little 7' SP rod for bream,flatties etc.
It was 3pm on a weekend and I got sick of casting the bigger jew lures out for zip so I picked up my SP rod with a 50mm Drop bear rubber on a 1/0 jighead and had a go for something smaller.
2nd cast and I hooked up to what I thought was a big lizard cause it just sat there and shook its head.
It decided it was sick of playing around and headed upriver.
400 metres and 40 mins later I landed a 22kg jew and had about 8 people following me to see what I had hooked.
Got a few pats on the back and "good onya" with landing a big fish on little gear and telling me that I must have known what I was doing to land such a fish, So I soaked it up a bit bit and said something to the effect that "yeah, I'm a bloody legend"8-):D

Anyway the fish was laying there with its mouth open and the SP was stuck at the back of its mouth and I made the fatal mistake of reaching in to retrieve my SP and as soon as I touched the Jighead the jew snapped its jaws shut and locked on with half my forearm in its gob with everyone watching...... Riiiigghht!!!:o:o:-[:D

Thats probably why I let Stonecold retrieve my SP out of a shark recently!
cheers.

[choco]

Funny stuff.

Fishing only last week with a#mate one night. He had a live herring about 6inches long. I had slightly heavier gear and a live pike about 14 inches long I got in the cast net. Both baits were weighted and fished about 30m apart.
The fishing had gone dead about an hour ago when he got a small hit on the herring, then nothing. Wound a little and found weight there. Pulled it in and it's my pike, now with 2 hooks in its mouth and a herring down its throat!
Worst part was that was the best fish caught that outing.

Cheers,
Allan

[choco]

Also seen a ski boat hit a sand bank#flat stick.
If anyone knows the big sand bank just up from the yamba tavern, it's the size of a shopping centre car park. This guy tried to short cut the markers mid tide and ended up in the middle of it really bogging down his engine and spraying sand everywhere. It's only knee deep at most.

[Funchy]

Was out fishing the other morning and a shag landed on the channel marker beacon. The wind vane was slow spinning in the breeze and the shag had to duck his head every time it came around. He sat there for ages ducking his head looking for fish. I found it quite amusing :D

[pipifin]

Was out fishing the other morning and a shag landed on the channel marker beacon. The wind vane was slow spinning in the breeze and the shag had to duck his head every time it came around. He sat there for ages ducking his head looking for fish. I found it quite amusing :D
Had a shag land on the front of my yak as I was paddling into Bells Creek about a year ago. It hitched a ride for about a k. Was probably the same bird.

[netmaker]

25 years ago i was working on the "lazy river" trawling prawns off mackay. my skipper at the time was partial to xxxx and one night at around midnight he decided we should head back out - after having spent the arvo at the pub followed by nightclubs:-?. so off we go and on the way out i decided to cook up some hot chips. well the oil was hot and the skipper was not::). went the wrong side of a marker and next thing we have a list of some 45 degrees:o. the pot of oil launched itself off the stove and went all over the wheelhouse floor and it obviously wasn't long before i was slipping in it and on my bum:(. those who are familiar with tide movements at mackay know full well getting stuck in the mud on a run out tide usually means a long wait. but skipper managed to dig our way back out and off we went to work. was glad to get off that boat because 6 months after i did she was sunk north of southport:-?.

and this one: bloke i knew in townsville named steve. good bloke, gun pool player and good deckie. caught up quite regularly at the vic park hotel which was THE spot for crew and some non-elitist skippers. most of us drank there as it was only a walk from the marina. anyways steve goes out to sea one trip and discovers he has brought a case of crabs out with him - not the crustacean variety either;). now not being due back to port for a couple of weeks and finding the itching intolerable he resorted to spraying the affected area liberally with baygon insect spray:o. i got wind of all this via the radio after he had been air-sea lifted the following day. apparently the doc told him he almost didn't make it in time. well, whilst i was at sea i was thinking of some wiseass comment to make when i saw him. the best i could come up with was:"steve - where you baygon all this time?" well he had obviously had time to rehearse also with his reply: "davo, like i've been telling everyone, we're going to let baygons be bygones." totally cracked me up and still does. needless to say steve was subsequently known as baygon;D.

[rabbi]

Also seen a ski boat hit a sand bank#flat stick.
If anyone knows the big sand bank just up from the yamba tavern, it's the size of a shopping centre car park. This guy tried to short cut the markers mid tide and ended up in the middle of it really bogging down his engine and spraying sand everywhere. It's only knee deep at most.

I had a mate from Inverell do that at Yamba bout 12 years back and it took a lot of effort to get his 20' Glass boat off the sandbank.
Its always better with a crowd watching!!
We have had a few coldies at the Tavern at Yamba from time to time and those Bream under the walkway on the river are always hand fed potato chips.
It always gets mildly amusing when somebodys child (or the parent) sticks their finger in the water:o
cheers.

[choco]

I had a mate from Inverell do that at Yamba bout 12 years back and it took a lot of effort to get his 20' Glass boat off the sandbank.
Its always better with a crowd watching!!
We have had a few coldies at the Tavern at Yamba from time to time and those Bream under the walkway on the river are always hand fed potato chips.
It always gets mildly amusing when somebodys child (or the parent) sticks their finger in the water:o
cheers.
#Been 15 years since ive been there but was funny when a finger got put in the water. I do remember those bream. Not sure if it's still the same but there was some massive bream under that jetty. Use to be really good fishing up past the sand bank in the, at the time, newly built canals, before all the houses were built. Big whiting and lizards. We pulled one lizard up round the 80cm mark and a whiting at 43cm

[rabbi]

Yeah Choco,
They are still there and Geez they left teeth marks!!

[stonecold]

Have I got a funny story...where you and I are involved they generally involve rum and coke and sharp objects!..........and band aids

[rabbi]

Have I got a funny story...where you and I are involved they generally involve rum and coke and sharp objects!..........and band aids

Is that why you wouldnt let me use your chainsaw after a few R n Cs when we went codding??:-?

No worse than the last time we went outside in your boat and I lost my footing and was half over the side when you grabbed my shirt and pulled me back in, and you were fishing at the same time!

Who said Blokes are no good at multitasking8-)

Actually I was just thinking that we would make a bloody entertaining TV fishing show!
"Stonecold & Rabbi" has a ring to it!!
You out there Starlo n Bushy?? All we need is a sponsor;D;D8-)

[nezevic99]

Seems i got told a funny story a few years back about a bloke getting gaffed in the ass... You wouldn't know anything about that would you Rabbi?

[stonecold]

See john...there's something about sharp things and Rabbi that dont mix..he's in Korea largely unsupervised at the moment. I'm worried for his safety...................Oh and i also stand well back when he gaffs my fish,,,the few that I catch anyway

[Camhawk88]

One that springs to mind was when I was a kid me and a mate and his dad went to fish off the wharf at Cossack. Not much was happening but then my mates line went off and this big longtom launched itself and started going mental. When we got it in it became apparent why- the hook was lodged fair up its arse clean as a whistle. Reckon that will turn most fish into a rampaging beast. Whilst not the funniest thing I have seen by a long shot, as a pair of 14 year old kids nothing could be funnier and we both had sore gut muscles for days.
You'd think with all those bloody teeth the fish should be able to work out which end to take a bait from!

[Yellowjack]

A couple of weeks ago me and a couple of mates were fishing from our yaks when my friend lost his anchor.
He threw it out and the rope came undone and straight to the bottom it went, I paddled over and dropped my anchor so that i could hold his yak while he swam around in about 2m deep water looking for it.

For about 30 minutes he swam around getting stun by jellyfish and shitting his dacks being scared of bullsharks. I sat there laughing my ass off while he did. We decided to call it quits and he climbs back onto his yak and starts to paddle away. I climb to the front of my yak and start bringing in my anchor when i notice it is a bit heavier then usual.

Turns out when i dropped my anchor (2-3m away from where he lost his), it manage to hook perfectly together with his and i then pulled both of our anchors up.

We sat there laughing for about 5 minutes about how awesome it was they hooked perfectly and that he wasted 30 minutes swimming around getting stun by jellyfish for no reason.


I definitely won Catch of the Day ;D ;D

[SWANY22]

took the fatherinlaw fishing up haysinlet on new years eve fishing for flathead,and he had one of thoes pink manns5 and i asked him to use it.no wories he reckens,so i tye it on go to cast out and the line fell from me finger then i here f@@k bodd(hes pommy).look around and the manns five is hanging from his eve brow.could not stop laughing at him gee it looked funny any way so i go were gonna have to go to the doctors to get that out.he goes f##k that just rip it out so thats what i done, geez i still laugh at the old fella about that.

[rabbi]

Seems i got told a funny story a few years back about a bloke getting gaffed in the ass... You wouldn't know anything about that would you Rabbi?
Geez its a long way from home over here at korea guys. hanging out for a nice T-bone,chips n a cold XXXX.
As a matter of fact Jon I do.Theres a couple of us that keep laughing about that incident, I still get a nasty twitch in my left eye just thinking about it:P

A mate n myself went jewing off the wall and it was a rough surf and I only had my little short jew rod and SP.s.
Pretty much hooked up to a 20kg jew first few casts and got it back to the rocks with a 2m plus swell running.
Had a 4metre alloy handled gaff with the normal 6mm steel hook(sharpened it that morning;D)
Stan got it with the first gaff shot but only hooked it by a small section and had about 75mm of gaffhook protruding from the fish but good enough to lift it okay.
Now this is where it all starts to go bad.

Stan was standing up fairly high when he gaffed it and a big wave hit the fish as he was lifting it and drove the gaff into the rocks and bending it around and into a crack and lodging the gaff firmly in there. I jumped down(had my wetpants n jacket on) into the wavezone level with the fish and pulled the gaff loose and stan was about to hoist the fish when a good wave hit the fish n gaff and washed it behind me at the same time knocking me off balance but I just went backwards onto the rock and also onto the fish on the gaff.
My feet slipped off the rock I was standing on but I didnt fall and I seemed to be sitting on my fish behind me and it felt like getting a Tetanus shot in the arse.
Stan at this stage was telling me to get off the F****** gaff cause he couldnt hold the both of us up.
I regained my footing and stood up off the gaff and hopped up the rocks while stan was hoisting the fish up.
There was a few fishos watching next to Stan and I swear I heard one of them say "Bullseye!!"
Anyway, I got back on top of the wall and dropped my wet pants and there was a fair amount of blood running down my left leg so stan says "drop your daks" Still had me Reg Grundies on but all of a sudden the crowd dispersed! Something must have spooked them!!
The point of the gaff had gone in about 50-60mm left of centre and It must have went in about 75mm.
Stan said "you will live" and we went on fishing.
I have a bullet hole like scar there now and I keep offering to show people that I tell about the incident but they always knock me back on the offer;D;D;D
Coulda been worse.
cheers, steve.

[rabbi]

Yeah Mark, something about sharp things!!. Went coarse fishing for the last few days over here, will post some reports when I get home.
I just thought about the bitumen road incident way out west at Mungindi with some mates codfishing trip many years back.
getting late here now so will tell it later.
Cheers guys.

[wamjam]

I think I've heard this bitumen road yarn. Steve...

A few mates and I codfishing on the Severn a few years ago, the apple trees were in flower at the time attracting the bees. One of my mates (was my mate until he reads this) is a bit partial to the odd rum can. Anyway he was off having a leak or something and when he got back to his chair, he grabs his rum from the drink holder in the chair and takes a big swig. Next thing he is spraying rum everywhere:o. the bee's had gotten into his rum can while he was away, one has bitten him in the back of his throat. Pure bugger wanted to go to the hospital but we just laughed at him... Told him he was a cruel bugger killing bee's and asked him which hose should we remove out of the engine bay of the ute (radiator, wiper washers or heater hose) to poke down his throat if the swelling got to much::).
He grow up with bee's and had been bitten plenty of times... not in the throat but.

Scott

[Giveitacrack]

I have a mate who is a bit of clumsy bastard.Anyway a few years back my mate and I were fishing the Pin area out my uncles houseboat and we brought back a good flathead caught in the tinny at around 10lbs to weigh on some 80yr old family heirloom "salter"scales with intention of releasing the fish.After the fish was weighed with the scale hook in it's mouth (this was before more fish friendly catch and release techniques were used) he was swimming the flathead for release whilst kneeling on the duckboard of the houseboat and the fish kicked with scales still in its gob.We watched the fish dissapear to the depths.We were in around 12 ft water which was gin clear at the top the tide so we could see the fish on the bottom.My uncle heard the commotion at back of the boat and come to investigate.After telling him what happened he seen the flattie on the bottom not moving with his scales in its mouth.He said as "Captain of this boat I order you to get me my scales back".First a cast net was used then ganghooks but it was decided the only way was to free dive and get it.It was in the middle of winter at the time.So over goes my mate on his 3rd attempt up he comes with the flattie and scales.Elation,high fives and the flattie is succesfully released for a second time.It is now late arvo and after a hot shower,a few bundy rums and being rugged up for the nights fishing pursuits my same mate is on the duckboard filleting a fish with my uncles brand new $80 filleting knife given to him by his staff for some work milestone.Next thing I here him swearing.You guessed it over goes the filleting knife.All the crew come to the back of the boat.The uncle orders for the knife to be retrieved and over goes my mate again.Lucky the knife had a brightly coloured handle and was easily located.Frank Spencer is not allowed near scales or filleting knives now.

GAC

[nezevic99]

Steve, When are you home? Planning a jaunt down your way late may if you are around.

[stonecold]

It'll be touch and go if he's home mate, hes out of contact for the next few days island hopping. I'll be around though..I think I'm successfully making him homesick with pics of jew

[rabbi]

Alrighty guys,
Sitting in front of Kat's brothers computer over here in Korea and knocked over halfa bottle of Baileys n a few beers with him so its time for the bitumen road yarn as told to me by the instigators who we will call Alan & John at this stage.:D
A number of years back they went on a fishing trip to Mungindi and called in at the pub there before setting out to throw a line or two in.
As it is with these guys they usually dont stop too quickly when they start having a beer or two and its getting dark so they head off to one of the overflow channels around the area.
After crossing a few paddocks with a skinfull under their belt they come across a channel shimmering in the moonlight and unpack their fishing gear and throw in about 20 set lines on springers baited with crayfish and worms and retire back to their vehicle to sleep it off.
The next morning they are woken abruptly by vehicles and trucks going by and get up to find they had set all their lines on the bitumen road they had parked next to.
It was almost as funny as the time they told the story about setting their lines after dark in a dry creek bed they used to get fish in, after a few coldies of course.::)
Dont know if it was true or not but knowing these 2 guys I wouldnt be too surprised.

Heres one that is definitely true.
Freddie Trow n myself went codding down to the junction between the Macintyre & Severn many moons back before it was a national park.
Anyways we were sitting around the campfire after dinner talking about Cod, Dingo's(there were heaps down there at that time) and of course, Panthers.
We retired in our sleeping bags under an open tarp with the campfire going nicely at that stage and I reckon it must have been about midnight when a Possum jumped on the bottom of my sleeping bag,ran all the way up it and jumped off my head leaving a few scratches on the way.
Fair dinkum, I thought I was being taken by a panther.:o
Bad smell around the camp after that, and it wasnt the beans!!:-[
Cheers.

[Barry Ehsman]

Was one of the bloke's name that was fishing in the paddock Ces....And talking about the Panther we heard it one night & saw it's footprint's in the sand behind the camp down at Bedwell Down's

Baz

[wayno60]

79864
not funny but a great story to tell the grand kids

[rabbi]

Geez,is that a spear??
I should try spearfishing one day but I have just had a glimpse of the future:o
I used to use one of those handspears, safer in consideration of my track record!!

[rabbi]

Was one of the bloke's name that was fishing in the paddock Ces....And talking about the Panther we heard it one night & saw it's footprint's in the sand behind the camp down at Bedwell Down's

Baz
Hi Bazz,
It was Alan & Big John but I may recall something about a Ces during some of the conversation.

That was Probably Doyley after he knocked back some of his garden shed full of beer down at Bedwell downs m8.

We have seen some strange things at Middle fishing on the Gwydir and The Dungeons down the Severn that We still havnt worked out and I have spent a lot of time (night n day n sober) in these areas fishing.

A few of us took our motorbikes into the Gwydir Troutfishing early one morning in winter and we got there just after sunrise and the frost was thick on the ground and we were rugged up fairly well after riding the bikes.
Unpacked my rod & reel and put a lure on and walked 20m to the first big long sloping granite rock that went into a deep hole.
Had running shoes on and as soon as I stepped on the rock I felt myself start sliding on the ice. Held my balance all the way but the other guys were rolling around laughing and reckoned it was much like launching a ship as I didnt stop til the water was up to my neck. it may explain one of those funny noises you hear while in the bush but with a gurgling noise at the end. S*** it was cold:-?;D

[Barry Ehsman]

Was sleeping under the front of the ute in the swag another night at Woodstock when there was this blood curdling scream from just down the river....Smashed my bloody head on the bullbar & backed further down under the ute with my son not far behind me..

Baz

[rabbi]

Yep, thats the sort of thing I have heard a lot when i have been out fishing.

I was out at Copeton one night with my Big german shepherd fishing off the bank on the Auburn vale side with a nice bonfire going when this thing let out a sorta loud growling noise across towards northern side and my dog started hiding behind my legs n whining. Time to go home!!

[Gon Fishun]

Yowies do like a change of scenery and diet now and again.::-?::o::(