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finga
12-02-2009, 01:48 PM
Gidday all,
Well fisher persons have a natural born right, and obligation, to tell a porky pie or 70 about their catches and escapades .....so what are some of the rip-snorters you've heard over the years??
It doesn't matter if it has nothing to do with catches.
Just as long as it has something to do with fishing would be dunky-dory.

I'll start off hey.
My Poppa used to catch jew that big he had to scale them with a spade and used the scales for the roof on Nana's garden shed

Come on then. Tell some whoppers and get away with it ;D

Thanks then
Scott :)

Jungle Jim
12-02-2009, 02:59 PM
i won’t say who told me this one coz i don’t want to upset anyone but i heard a “story” about a 600kg striped marlin he hooked and had boatside (in just 40mins).

Shame they lost him... would have been a record by some 400kg+. That’s smile, nod and roll your eyes material.

To be fair i have been guilty of rounding up weights on trout. ;)
If the scales go slightly past 4lb it becomes 5lb.

2 becomes 10 you know how it goes....:P

JIM

TimiBoy
12-02-2009, 03:58 PM
There's a ruler on the pergola at a certain Mate's place, goes up to a metre I think. Trouble is the gaps between the cm's are a bit narrow...

Cheers,

Tim

sparkyice
13-02-2009, 02:33 AM
i posted this on the "jokes" thread the other day, kind of sums things, i say.

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh or measure the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 15.4 kg and was 1.2m long

sparkyice
13-02-2009, 02:36 AM
i posted this on the "jokes" thread the other day, kind of sums things, i say.

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh or measure the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 15.4 kg and was 1.2m long

Nic
13-02-2009, 09:52 AM
I know a nice bloke who can't help but exaggerate, bless 'im. He'll tell you they had a good session on (say) bass, catching about 6 to 50cm.

You speak to the person he fished with that day and he'll say, "Yeah it was a slow morning, only got two littlies."

So yeah, old mate simply hasn't twigged that you shouldn't fib about your catch unless you fished alone. :) God it's tempting to round up when your biggest fish weight or length ends with a 9... my biggest bass was 49cm and it still bugs me!

shrunken pojie
13-02-2009, 10:30 AM
Well I reakon that the trip to the co-op on the way home has got to be up there. I remember one trip with dad and my brother when we caught 2 undersized bream which we let go back to their mum. We stopped and bought a decent sized squire at the co-op. The dam thing was frozen so we had to spend 15 minutes defrosting it in the creek before we could take it home to mum and show her what we caught.

spears
13-02-2009, 10:35 AM
Known fact that a human tells 10-15 lies per week,and it includes fish.

Noelm
13-02-2009, 10:48 AM
my mate is such a good fisherman, that he reckons all he needs is a photo of some bait on his hook to catch a Snapper

reidy
13-02-2009, 11:16 AM
Always round size up never round down;D convert pound to kg at a ratio of 3.1;D one inch = 35.5mm;D
Cheers
Reidy

Dirtysanchez
13-02-2009, 11:28 AM
I used to be in a fishing club, there was one bloke who we called trophy hunter, you could either fish the nominated event, or go as you please if you did not own a boat. He would fish the brissy river, and strangely each time he caught 5 to 6 bream.
One day (after he won the weekend) I looked at his fish in the bucket, but he didn't look at them too long. I swear one had milky eyes and looked like it had been frozen and thawed a few times ? I joked that he had left some of the newspaper from the co-op on one of the fish and I swear I thought he was going to try to hit me !!

Jungle Jim
13-02-2009, 11:49 AM
Always round size up never round down;D convert pound to kg at a ratio of 3.1;D one inch = 35.5mm;D
Cheers
Reidy

close.......
but i convert lb to kg by dividing the poundage by 1.5. if the scales say 6lb it must be 4kg ;D

JIM

Wahoo
13-02-2009, 12:24 PM
i heard a few at the Mission beach M&G from the Townsville boys ;D:P:P8-)

CHAPPY
13-02-2009, 01:29 PM
I was fishing on the Tin Can jetty one day when a young fellow comes along and tells me that last week he caught a 2 foot whiting off this jetty. I said that nothing, last week I dropped my hurircane lantern off this jetty and next night hooked it and brought it iup and it was still alight.
Well, he says bull, come on old feller, be real. So I says i'll make a deal with you. If you take 1 foot off your whiting, I'll blow out the lantern.

Chappy

reidy
13-02-2009, 02:41 PM
close.......
but i convert lb to kg by dividing the poundage by 1.5. if the scales say 6lb it must be 4kg ;D

JIM
lovely darts Junglejim;D
Cheers
Reidy

ronnien
13-02-2009, 09:37 PM
i tell the story of me catching moby dick to my kids, my young falla hangs off every word he even went to school & told his teacher the story. he has not lernt to tell the 1 that got away story yet so if there is anyone at the ramp when we get back & he has caught somthing they will hear the real story.

ron.

finga
14-02-2009, 05:36 AM
i heard a few at the Mission beach M&G from the Townsville boys ;D:P:P8-)


i tell the story of me catching moby dick to my kids, my young falla hangs off every word he even went to school & told his teacher the story. he has not lernt to tell the 1 that got away story yet so if there is anyone at the ramp when we get back & he has caught somthing they will hear the real story.

ron.
Well....what are the stories??
Please take a few moments and jot them down :)

Ta
Scott :)

bustaonenut
14-02-2009, 07:32 AM
almost every time you talk to a fisho

weasel
14-02-2009, 11:10 AM
I used to skipper 40ft longliner out of Eden NSW and use to troll for Albacore.anyhow at the wharf unloading some decent albiesupto 15kg and Korean bloke comes up" buy a fish "yeah no worries mate sold him a fish took no notice for a while and looked up later and here is the Korean with another half a dozen mates all passing the albie around taking happy snaps with the one fish
had to laugh

DAVE

ronnien
14-02-2009, 11:24 AM
Well....what are the stories??
Please take a few moments and jot them down :)

Ta
Scott :)

while fishing middle reef 1 night in milkpond conditions, got this bump than another bump into the side of the boat at first i thought it was a turtle. after a couple of mins i heard a sound like a turtle coming up for a breath of air, than this mighty bow wave started going around the boat this was no turtle! than all of a sudden the big reel started screaming i was on to this thing, after a epic battle & being towed around the reef 10 times i was winning the fight. about 20mtrs off to the side up he came... the big white whale MOBY DICK!! & HE STILL HAD THE HARPOONS STICKING OUT OF HIS BACK, we were both tired & no fight left in the both of us so i motored over to him, took my hook out as well as the harpoons from his back & he swam away free. on the way back to the ramp the motor cut out & a storm was coming, i did not know what to do than up surfaced moby. i put the anchor rope around him & he gave me a tow back to the ramp, gave me a wink & off he went.::)::););D

telling this to my 5yr old son his eyes light up every time!

ron.

Wahoo
14-02-2009, 12:50 PM
Well....what are the stories??
Please take a few moments and jot them down :)

Ta
Scott :)

I was just kidding Scott, just wanted to do this ;D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/4xgold0/canofworms.jpg

mik01
14-02-2009, 01:05 PM
Known fact that a human tells 10-15 lies per week,and it includes fish.

fish tell lies too??? ;D

CHAPPY
16-02-2009, 10:01 AM
Known fact that a human tells 10-15 lies per week,and it includes fish.

Gee,
That makes Anna Bligh super human. She would have to tell 10 to 15 lies a day

BEFORE BREAKFAST.
CHAPPY

Brenno
17-02-2009, 06:07 PM
when one of my mates that lives up at Townsville gets drunk he always tell this story of him and his missus going fishing and him walking out into the water with a cast net to get some bait, says his missus is going off at him and his all cool about it.

thing is i know his is scared of just about everything that moves, so it i point this out to who every is around at the time just to watch his face drop.

Mark

Brenno
17-02-2009, 06:10 PM
nearly forgot one of my uncles tells the story of how he caught a Murry cod so big that when he pulled it in it took two bends out of the river and the water level dropped 6 ft.

major-defect
18-02-2009, 02:47 PM
I used to work with a bloke who was always telling us about the big fish he'd got on the weekend.I took him fishing a couple a times and we'd get a few but nothing special.Back at work on monday I'd get people coming and asking about all these huge fish we'd caught, he even told them he'd saved me from a croc.I didn't take him anymore.

Lucky_Phill
18-02-2009, 08:50 PM
Scotty, I caught a fish so big the photo weighed 3 kgs. :o ;) ;D :P


cheers Phill


Fish stories.... mmmm. what happens on tour, stays in tour :P

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hkconc
19-02-2009, 08:15 PM
I know a guy that said that the only thing he caught was a hurican lantan. Best thing was that it was already a light

PNG1M
19-02-2009, 11:16 PM
An old bloke told be once about when him & his mate went out off Brisbane Waters years ago in a flat-bottom 10ft tinnie. They were after a reputedly huge flathead.

One of em hooked a fish that seemed like a dead weight but kind of pulled like a flathead. After 20 minutes of struggling they finally got the fish up towards the surface.

The bloke who hooked it looked over his side of the boat and said, "Hey, there's something wrong with this fish - it's only got one eye!"

His mate replied with bulging eyes, " Well, you'd better have a look over here! His other eye is on this side!"