Might have to sell my new boat

[moater]

Got a Sea Jay 4.55 Magnum,new (about a year old) & unused,still in the process of fitting a 40hp Tohatsu ELPTO and sitting on a new Dunbier loader trailer.The hull is the optional Sure Trac model with reversed chines and the donk has tilt & trim with forward controls.

Geez life can be a reall p!$$ off sometimes!..I've been in the slow (due to various reasons) process of setting up my boat and I've got a centre console made up outta 3mm marine grade aluminium.I've got the Teleflex QC helm with the cable and also the control cables ie throttle & shift.The motor's on the boat,just have to bolt and seal it and hook up the cables etc etc.


Now I'm thinking of selling it due to the need for another car and I'm looking at getting a good secondhand Hilux Dual Cab 4x2 with LPG and canopy and downsizing my boat to a smaller one around 4.2m with a 30hp.

Just checking for any interest out there as I really don't want to sell it but then again,it's better to have a decent car to go fishing with in the first place and especially with the fuel costs and so on.The rig is worth around $16,000.

Ah well..things don't always work out the way ya want them too.:(

Darren

[FNQCairns]

Nah buy a daggy Falcrumbadore/hilux and stick your finger up at the trafic light pissing contest, keep the boat and enjoy the real things in life, say NO to the clones!!!

Of coarse only you know what you need to do but crikey selling the boat you have been working towards is 'need a new kidney' sort of drastic IMO.....

best of luck

cheers fnq

[kind_cir]

I'm the other way round. I want to down grade the car and upgrade the boat.
At the moment I got a 93 Hilux dual cab 4x4 fully modded for serious offroad, and worth around $12000. The boat is a 3.4 tinny with 9.9 worth around $2000.
Would like a 4x4 dual cab std for around $8000 and 4.2m tinny 30hp tiller for around $5000.

[moater]

Nah buy a daggy Falcrumbadore/hilux and stick your finger up at the trafic light pissing contest, keep the boat and enjoy the real things in life, say NO to the clones!!!

Of coarse only you know what you need to do but crikey selling the boat you have been working towards is 'need a new kidney' sort of drastic IMO.....

best of luck

cheers fnq


Thanks mate ;D ..yeah you're right about getting something a a bit cheaper car-wise.The blasted woman that I used to call my other 'half' is making life hard for me though--a bit out of control actually.We have a 1996 Fairmont that's a beauty but are trying to get the money together to put that on gas and save a heap of dough...would prefer to not use it though due to lowlifes that sometimes hang around ramps.Also got a cruddy ol '85 Corolla that's only 1.6 litre but would pull the boat to the ramps around here as it's flat country and the ramps in mind are good..it looks like death the toyota but keeps on going...

I put it to 'her' that I wanted to get a loan and she went troppo as like a lot of people we don't have a lot to spare.Doesn't help with the bastard having a cigarette habit of at least $70 a week--more than twice what I would be paying for a loan.Pretty much splitting up the ways things are going and we have 3 1/2 year old boy,a beaut little fella.Bloody sad when ya can't get someone to stop blowing your money on smokes and grog (she loses her licence this week for a year) so you can manage better,and then they have the cheek to turn around and deny you the chance to buy something that's worthwhile like a car.I've had plans to take my boy fishing & camping and so on soon & this piece of shit effectively says "no my smoking and grog are more important!"

Life is shit sometimes,could be a lot worse though.If I end up in a tin shed I reckon I'll be happier without the strife at least.

Might go to a loan shark...dont' care if I have to trap a few rabbits like I did as a kid,catch a few fish,eat canned spaghetti and other cheap alternatives.Don't have a social life so that's no loss.

My whinge about some things that are killing me in various ways..:(

Darren

[Hebb]

Hey, Hear you brother. Keep it cool and look after yourself and your young one.

[Blackened]

G'day

Darren, sad news about the boat, but seriously, life is fantastic... why not cut your losses in the areas that are keeping you down and start fresh

Dave

[moater]

Thanks folks,some sound advice.My little bloke means more to me than a blasted boat or car..would be kinda nice to take him out fishing though.It's been beautiful to just have him in the boat out in the shed and to hear him say "sit down dad" as he wanted me to sit next to him.To see and hear him is priceless.William was/is a real blessing and there can't be any other kids due to age basically...no he wasn't an IVF baby but things were lookin' that way..lost a little one at a few months term which makes him even more special.

My advice to anyone...if ya want to get hooked up with someone make sure they're keen on fishing for @#&^sake!!...would help make life easier.

Gettin' quite teary actually..

Darren

[MyEscape]

Stay away from the loan sharks - it never works for anyone that I've seen.

Let's face it, boats are a luxury. Roof over your head is a necessity, vehicles are something that our living standards have almost made a necessity (not quite but close)

Priceless is spending time with your kid. Take a walk on the beach and pump a few yabbies with your boy and throw a line.

Steve

[TimiBoy]

Yep, good advice. As for the young 'un, EVRYTHING is about him. Don't bag Mum out to him, just take every opportunity you have to love him to death. When he's 20, he'll remember everything, and will know that when all he needed was love, you gave it to him.

Never use him to strike at the (ex-wife) he will never forgive you for it. Remember to ask yourself whenever it's getting hard and you want to say something to him, whether saying it is for his benefit or yours. If it's for yours, stow it, it won't help.

I've had a lot of XP in this area, and have won. Mentally ill wife, she was divorced, I picked up the kids - they've grown up, call me Dad, and we have a great life. She has recovered (FINALLY!) 20 years of battles were worth it. I am the happiest man I know!

[dogsbody]

Chin up Darren your little bloke needs a good positive upbringing. Perhaps a compromise to a smaller boat.

Life deals many cards, It all about how you play your hand.


Dave.

[Roughasguts]

I do things the other way around, I tow a 30K caravan and a 20 K boat with a shit box NJ Pajero worth nuthen cause it's a car and they don't hold there value at all.

But the toys on the other hand are still worth more than I paid for them, so you could consider the boat as more an investment and the car as A to B transport.

[Reel Nauti]

Darren

When you feel that you need a beef and that the whole situation is drowning you, hop on here as you have and let it out mate. As has been said, whatever you do keep the smiles up in front of your little man and don't ever, ever, ever bag out his mum to him. I know where you're coming from, I was in a very similar situation many years ago and ended up losing my wife along with my daughter (2yo and son 12months) at the time. God how awful I felt for a long time. I would have given the world and anything to have her back, even if was just to have my kids.
Life has a way of sorting itself out mate, and I firmly believe that what goes around comes around. My advice to you would be to try to keep the peace, if Mum's happy then generally the house is happy, and whilst Dad may not be too happy at least your little bloke probably will be. Smoking and having a beer at the expense of other things may not be the best, but if she's a good mum it's far better the worst.

Try not to fret too much today about what you can't have. It will probably come to you sooner than you expect.

Cheers

Dave

[tigermullet]

Well, I cannot offer any advice nor empathise with relationship difficulties or what to do about children because I have always left that sort of thing up to my wife. She's pretty good at that sort of stuff but I would be hopeless.

But the feeling of having to give up a boat is something I am familiar with and I do feel very sorry for you. Just having to consider such a thing is bad enough without having to follow through and actually do it.

Just a few days ago a decision had to be made on selling the boat or buying out a partner. I didn't think that it would be fair for me to spend even more money on an activity that no one else in the family enjoys and decided to go ahead and sell. By the end of the day I was shaking so much that beer was being spilled all over the place and there was no sleep that night. I still get 'butter flies' even thinking about it again. Selling a well loved boat is a dreadful thing to contemplate and though I refused to talk about it my wife knew that I was suffering. Later the next day she asked if I had seen any sense. Of course, the answer was just "No". Her solution was to ask whether I would rather have an extra few figures in the accounts or get my life back. Simple really (and we are fortunate enough to have that option) but in the depths of depression, answers aren't easy to come by.

I know that some will make fun of this but it is just an awful thing to have to consider losing your boat. One bloke that I know had to see a psychiatrist when he was confined to shore for six months. I remember laughing when he told me about it but now I have some understanding of what he was going through.

I certainly hope that your situation will improve and that you can, somehow, save your boat.

[moater]

Thanks for the good advice folks,it's helped me to get things into perspective a heck of a lot better.Leaning toward selling and downsizing because although I wanted the bigger boat for going "outside" as well,there are plenty of people that still do so with smaller boats.Some people have 3.7m-3.8m tinnies with air-o-float bags fitted and they do very well thankl you.Also I live very close to the water (13km or so) so I can pick my days and go out to the reefs that are very close in...a lot of 20lb+ snapper get caught there.There's also good surf fishing too and I used to do a lot of it.I can have a good boat AND a better car and I might just sell some of the rods,reels & other stuff if needed-got way too much gear,same goes for lures etc.

What I really don't want is to split up with my defacto,even after the things that I said about her because there's still something there and I don't want the little bloke all messed up either...been hard enough on him.Gotta really bite my tongue it seems even though some things get to me.She knows she has to give up the smokes and all that and I gotta try to be less obsessed about it.

I can still have a top (smaller) boat and a better car but to have family is much more important.Looking forward to better times.

Will keep the stuff that's been said here and read it often as it's good,realistic advice.Thanks fellas!;)

Darren

[levinge]

Hey Moater, Tell her everytime she buys a packet of fags, you get to put the same amount into an account for your young fellas education, at least then it will be one bill you won't have to worry about and she might actually see how much it is costing your little family. Unfortunately I in NQ, but I am sure that there would be plenty of Fisho's down your way on AUSFISH that would invite you and your young fella out for a day of WIDE fishing. You just gotta ask..

Best of Luck, They say when you first start off with a young family its called your POOR YEARS, I can tell you its true, all good things come to those who wait and your time will come. Keep up the faith and look after your family.

[Reel Nauti]

And one more thing.................when you feel you're drowning and you want to talk flick me a pm. I'm sure there's a heap of us who will lend an ear and a shoulder mate, and even a bloody tissue. I've got shares in Kleenex after what I went through all those years ago! Keep the emotions off the boil, and keep your head.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Dave

[TimiBoy]

Yeah me too. I've been through Hell in a handbasket, but we are together, and it's better than you can imagine! Happy to help you work it through any time Mate.

[borisdog]

What a fantastic thread. You lot are all absolute champions, some great words of comfort there and it makes me feel good to know there are still lots of good people around the traps.

Also makes me realise how lucky I am to have the champion missus that I've got, she loves her fishing and is a great mate as well.

[Roo]

Chin up Darren, I hope it all works out for you. Just know that there is plenty of support here for you.

Cheers Roo.
P.S. I finally got to fish with the Sluggo's i bought off you. the score is 1 Squire and been smoked a few times. they work a treat.

[moater]

Thanks Roo and thanks everyone.I don't mean to have a bit of a sook but yeah it is a major thing as I've been planning on keeping the boat for the rest of my life (I'm 41).Can always buy a cheaper car and get it converted to gas but ya gotta have the $2000-odd up front and then get the 2k rebate from aunty Kev...don't want a conversion that outlives the car though.

Life's not too bad really when it's all said and done...plenty of poor buggers would gladly pay to live in the 2 sheds that I've got...thought of letting one out for weekenders ie fishos that don't mind the basics and close enough drive to the water...geeezzz I must sound like either an entrepeneur or a bloody scavenger -- just mostly a battler like many,many others.

Good to hear that you've done well with the Slug-Go 'seconds' Roo8-) ...the fish don't mind.May sell a few more one day,very limited amount.

Darren

[Mark-P]

Hey moater, at lest you've got the choice to stay or go ! 14 months ago mine told me it was over & a week later my father passed away .... I then spent the next 6 months hoping she would change her mind & in that time sold my boat & 4x4 to ease the burdon but didn't change her feelings at all .... I have two daughters 9&6 who i miss so much sometimes it almost unbearable ! I get to see them most weekends, bu it will never be the same & unfortunatly i hate her for that one reason..... If you've got the choice mate, give it a go for the little bloke .. If not for your self !!!!! All the best

Mark

Ps I now live with my mum for each others company !!