Yes Mr police man sir, It certainly is my boat

[mangomick]

My young bloke was anchored up fishing on a wreck when along came the water police and very nicely they asked to see his life jackets, flares and epirb. Fair enough. Then they asked him if it was his boat.
Now my young bloke was born with his mothers temperment and only replied yes it is.
Now I was thinking I would probably have looked towards the heavens and said something along the lines of Yeah mate, I'm not able to get the tax payer to buy my pleasure boat and fuel for me or No mate, I was just swimming by when my arms got sore so I thought I'd just climb in and have a fish.
Sort of reminded me of the time i took my rifles into the cop shop all pulled down and wrapped in plastic and the little girlie cop behind the counter says they arent loaded are they?
Loaded off course not, I pulled them all down so you couldnt shoot yourself.
The police woman didnt need a pistol. The look she gave me was enough to kill ;D
Now i was just thinking what some of you other wags would say in a similar situation

[Jackinthebox]

Just got asked that same question at a booze bus about half an hour ago, had to bite my tongue before I thought of something smart to say.

Mick.

[Fish Guts]

yes so no sir 3 bags full. any attitude and they'l go through you with a fine tooth comb

[el_carpo]

A lot of times they ask those questions just to see how you respond. If they asked that of someone and that person acted nervous and gave some story (it's my cousin's boat and he lent it to me while he's away climbing Everest and.......), they'd investigate to see if it was stolen.

There is a show called, "Cops" where they have a TV camera along for the ride with police officers over here. One episode had a police officer who asked people he pulled over for acting suspiciously if they had any hand grenades, bazookas, bodies, or nuclear missiles in their trunk. He did it to get a "read" on the person. If they laughed and said no, he'd usually just let them go. If they got nervous and acted peculiar, he would know they were hiding something. He caught a guy who had a mess of drugs in his car.

The police woman who asked you if your rifle was loaded probably had to ask that question. A lot of times, those types of things are scripted by superiors under the directions of city legal advisers.

Fish Guts has it exactly right. Whatever you do, don't ever give them an attitude or you'll be in for it.

[BaitThrower]

Heck if I had my boat stolen, I'd love all the cops to be asking everyone if it was their own boat or not, because possibly a better chance of finding mine :) But as above, they often ask thing like that whether on boat or in car etc.

[stevenc]

I know what you mean mangomick, when I used to ride motorbikes awhile ago and was pulled over for speeding, the police asked "do you know what speed you were doing" first thing that came into my head was...( well it depends on how far you have been following me for) 8-) , :-[ but like most people best to keep it simple and not piss them of anymore then what they already are. Re boat though, I would have been glad that they are asking questions re stolen boats.

[Getout]

I am glad that they are trying to find stolen boats. Isn't that their job?

[r3volt]

Are they waiting for someone to say "No, i stole it"

[manchild]

The best reply i heard came from a young bloke .When the copper pulled him up for speeding and said son i was waiting for you all morning he replyed :i came i fast as i could.He let him go .
George

[jtpython]

If i say something officer i'll get in trouble won't i
YES SON YOU PROBALEY WILL
But if i think something that be ok wouldn't it
UMMMMM YES I SUPPOSE
Good i think your a real %$#@
HAHAHAHHAHHA

[littlejim]

based on the above, you might like the story in the Canberra times, attributed, by one of his mates, to one of the AFP officers killed in the air crash in Indonesia last year(?).
His mate told of the time he and the late cop(LC) pulled over a young bloke in a new BMW at the top of Red Hill. LC started booking the young man who got a bit stroppy and stated yelling 'do you know who my father is?' 'do you know who my father is?' LC stopped writing out the ticket and said to the young bloke 'son that is more a question you should ask your mother.' That shut him up.
Shame we have lost someone with that sense of humour.

[The_Outlaw]

A young man gets pulled up for speeding, the cop gets out and asks the young bloke if he knew how fast he was going, to which the young man replied, "I know exactly how fast I was going sir, what I want to know is how bloody fast you had to go to catch me"

[Dirtysanchez]

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a
Bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in
Wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic
Patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up
To two fingers, then three, then four, t hen with my whole hand in. I
Work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
But surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot #######?" he asked
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face....... PRICELESS

[FNQCairns]

I don't drink very much so this works for me, when pulled up at a random breath test and the the cop asks "have you had anything to drink today" reply with "No sir/madam! I am a leader not a follower!" :)

cheers fnq

[bigtez]

I am a non drinker and when I get RBT'd and state 'I don't drink' without fail the cop says 'you must be getting thirsty then'

[Little grey men]

I would have gently waved my hand in front of his face and said
" These are not the droids your looking for ".

[BaitThrower]

I would have gently waved my hand in front of his face and said
" These are not the droids your looking for ".

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA love it ;D

[scrotty]

There are reasons for the cop asking "Is this your boat"
In order to identify a breach of regulations the Officer must first identify all elements of any offence. The elements of the offence may include: Who is in charge of the vessel, Who is the Owner of the vessel, Where the Vessel is, what type of vessel it is and so on and so on. All relevent information is collected and colated to produce an evedince file or a brief of evidence. This is then used to creat a case against the offender if the matter is taken to court.

So remember the questions may seem stupid but they are asked for a reason.

Cheers

:)

[liltuffy]

Good point Scrotty, I work in prisons and see a lot of the less than desirable members of the public, some a lot less desirable than others. I also used to work with a lot of coppers and have the utmost respect for all these blokes, they certainly don't get paid enough fore what they do.

Agree with others, while the questions may seem basic the reason behind them is sound. If the likes of some people I've met were on the street you too would thank your lucky stars these blokes are doing their job.

Craig

[OceanSpirit]

Some funny responses; agree with your comments entirely though Craig. A lot of very good men and women involved in the profession.

[tigermullet]

Some funny responses; agree with your comments entirely though Craig. A lot of very good men and women involved in the profession.


I agree. In the past I have been a little critical of the police, especially the water police but examples like this piece of writing are rapidly changing my mind.

It is "off thread' but it is a well written story of great tragedy and should serve as a warning and a reminder that our police have some wonderful members who serve us very well.


PLEASE read this Australian Police Officer's story carefully. You can also verify the story at http://www.snopes.com/toxins/dustoff.asp (http://www.snopes.com/toxins/dustoff.asp)

Dust Off (or a variant of the product) is available everywhere there's a computer .
First I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its
Crime rate (Brisbane). We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor. He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it.
I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they wont.
I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use one of them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my two sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer store.
They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.
On March 1st, I left for work at 10 PM. Just before midnight my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 5:30 am the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was propped up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy togged up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over.
He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.
I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 AM
I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through >15.
They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. Its just compressed air. His best friend said no.
Kyle was wrong. It's not just compressed air. It also contains a propellant called R2. Its a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas. Heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT KILLS YOU.
The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die.
IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian Roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as you're breathing it in. If not, you die within 2 seconds of finishing 'the hit.' That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open.
The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe it's huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here. And that's why it's more accepted. There is no chemical reaction, no strong odour. It doesn't follow the huffing signals.
Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It
probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known. It's
easy to say hey, it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it
isn't.
Others are always effected. This has forever changed our family's life.
I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I
cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.
After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to the
school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker.
This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. So rather than tell everyone about this 'new' way of getting high they found, they hid it.
The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the
school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.
We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs. Using Dust Off isn't new and some 'professionals' do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They all seem to know bout it.
April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but wonder If I have died and gone to Hell.
The Officer is asking for everyone who receives this email to forward it to everyone in their address book, even Law Enforcement Officers.
Geoff ROBINS
Constable
Crime Prevention Unit
Queensland Police Service
Level 2, BP House 193 North Quay, Brisbane GPO Box 1440, Brisbane, QLD 4000
Ph: 07 3234 2111
Fax: 07 3234 2100
mailto:robins.geoffreyk@police.qld.gov.au (robins.geoffreyk@police.qld.gov.au)

[liltuffy]

Yes there are some over zealous officers around who take their job a bit too far, but in 19 years of dealing with these blokes (prisons and police) the vast majority are watching your back.

Say G'day to one and smile - it won't hurt and you might just get a favourable response.

Craig

[GAD]

When I was a lot younger and stupider,I had run ins with police for speeding and hey they got me fined me and I cursed and spat and cused, but, I have a few more years up my sleeve now , and am a bit wiser. I do realise they are their for our protection and help , and I have seen them put up with absolute crapp from some people and if you or I were to be talked to like these blokes and girls get abused like , I would be pretty nasty and possibly violent with some of the scum, but the police are so hampered by the rules and regs and the bleeding hearts , and rights groups that it must be like having a hand tied behind thier back .

Scum break into some ones house and take what they want but can't be touched because of age , or other reasons, because they have rights . don't we the people being ripped off have rights to a life of keeping what we earn and not have to replace it because some scum decided he liked it and didn't want to earn it for himself...
Just watched the news and an old lady died of heart failure after she walked in on the scumm robbing her house for the second time in 2 weeks , and I bet if they get caught they won't be charged with murder just theft.

Wish it were like it was when you didn't have to lock your door and people were pleasent and had manners and morals .

Greg

[2iar]

Top this for a speeding ticket...
Two Hunter traffic patrol officers from Newcastle LAC were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the F3 Freeway. One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 kph. Their radar suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact latched on to a Williamtown Hornet fighter jet which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over Wyong, approaching from the Ocean.

Back at police headquarters the Local Area Commander fired off a stiff complaint to the RAAF Liaison officer at Williamtown.

Back came the reply in true laconic RAAF style:

"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air- to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment.

Fortunately the pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile systems alert status, and was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar installation was destroyed. Thank you for your enquiry.

[on-one]

Tigermullet, it's not from an australian police officer and is based on an american event - down the botom of the snopes link they say it happened in cleveland

[tigermullet]

Tigermullet, it's not from an australian police officer and is based on an american event - down the botom of the snopes link they say it happened in cleveland


Oops, sorry! I took a friend's word that it was fair dinkum but have just checked on the 'Snopes' site.

After returning from Mullumbimby I always get a bit soft and gooey. Damn. But that's a nice place and you don't have to necessarily or intentionally inhale either.

Which is good, because later when you are rich and famous, you won't have to tell lies about how it was just a harmless experiment caused by peer pressure when you were young and impressionable and you didn't like it anyway.

So it's back to cynicism for me and leaving that new age stuff to my wife but it did feel ok for a while thinking that people are, essentially, nice and wouldn't tell fibs just to advance their own agenda.:P